A LITTLE BITE OF MAGIC CHEESE

I'm Back (For Some Reason)

2009-01-28T23:42:00.002-05:00

Well .... I'm back.
It's been awhile. I'm not really sure if I wanna do this. But I'm going to.
You see, I liked doing my blog(s), and I liked sharing my various thoughts and idea's and opinions. But sometimes things become too much of a hassle to matter.
If you read down a bit, you will see that I got into this thing with this guy who didn't like what I said about his show. Now I don't take back anything, and I don't regret saying what I said because, and I cannot stress this enough, the show sucked.
I mean it blew big time.
And I would have taken it if the guy (Well, guy's actually) had said their bit and gone on with their lives.
But they didn't.
In fact about a year later I got another email, and started a conversation that ended with me being pissed off again. Not at anything he said about me, but about the situation.
So the blog became a hassle and I quit.

So why start again?
Because I am getting my own show together, and I find myself fighting with my idea's on what is magic and what is comedy and ... basically the whole mess that makes a show become a show.
I need someplace to get my thoughts in order, so I figure I'll re-start my blog and get my thoughts in order.
Publicly.

Now let me say this. I am not going to pull a punch here. If I see something that is bad, then I will say it is bad. I don't care if I piss you or anyone else off. And if you want to bring to my attention how I pissed you off, I may (may) call you out. I'm getting too old to care.
But mostly this will e about me and my quest for creativity. The number one person I will call out is myself. I proabably will write myself a nasty email about it, but I don't care.
So there.

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that the entries that follow will be more entertaining than this.
I hope.

Next Post: Can I watch myself? The answer may suprise you.

WHY FUNNY MATTERS

2006-11-06T16:20:00.000-05:00

WHY FUNNY MATTERS

Many years ago, when I was in high school, I knew a girl named Irene.  If she had lived in the 60’s Irene would have been a hippy.  Not just any hippy, but one of those “Hey man, we can change the world through poetry” type of hippy.  But poor Irene wasn’t living in the 60’s, she was in the 80’s.
     Irene and I had a problem.  No, we weren’t enemies, but we disagreed on certain philosophies.  Irene was one of those irritating high school girls for whom everything had to have meaning, deep meaning, deep powerful meaning.  I, on the other hand, was one of those irritating high school kids for whom everything had to be funny, deep funny, deep powerful funny.
     And this is where we disagreed.  She believed funny was not deep, at least not my kind of funny.  Actually, in the five years I knew her I never found out what kind of funny she thought was deep and meaningful kind of funny.
     I, on the other hand, though that everything being deep and meaningful was boring and decidedly not funny.  The thing is Irene was not at all boring, just not overly funny.
     About a year or so after graduation, after not seeing each other for some time, Irene and I bumped into each other in a local mall.  We chatted a bit.  I asked what she was doing (I don’t remember what, but I’m sure it was deep and meaningful) and she asked what I was doing.  I mentioned that I was taking journalism but was having trouble with writing the stories.
     And she said “Why?  Because they’re too funny?”
     Bitch.
     The answer was, by the way, just that I was having trouble writing like a journalist.  It’s an art that I just never got the hang of.

     To Irene funny didn’t matter.  To me it matters above all else.  (Ok, not above all else, but above a lot of things.)
     Let’s get to the basics.  Funny makes us laugh and laughter makes us feel good.  Having a bad day?  A good laugh can change all that.  Not only that a good laugh actually affects our brain chemistry making us feel good.
     There is nothing wrong with liking to laugh and there is nothing wrong with liking to make people laugh.  I like it when someone makes me laugh, if it’s a good friend or a comedian or even just someone saying the wrong thing at the wrong time.
     I love it when I am able to make people laugh.  It fills me with a sense of pride that I never had with, say, academics or sports.  Saying something, for example, offhandedly and having someone just burst out laughing gives me a feeling like no other.
     And I’m pretty good at it too.  That fills me with a sense of purpose that maybe someone above (God or whatever) pointed to me and said “This is your gift” and every time someone laughs at one of my jokes I am fulfilling a divine purpose.
     And I have in many, many ways.  But not in the most important way.  Important, that is, to me.
     When I was younger I decided to become a comedian.  I worked very hard on material, I even tried to get into a few armature nights, but in the end I let it fall by the wayside.  I was unsure about my material.  I considered it sub par and I would not go on stage with less that great material.  Then I realized that comedy, in its stand up form, is pretty much dead.  Anybody who can spring a few lame jokes together can get a recurring spot on a stage, not because he/she are any good, but because there is a glut of clubs and shows and filler is needed.
     And then magic entered my life.  It took a while to realize it, but that was the final piece.  I had my means of communication.
     For the past year and few months I have been working on my funny magic show (I refuse to use the word “Comedy” as it is a swear word to me) and I may be working on it this time next year.  Who cares how long, as long as when it premiers it is perfect, magical and very, very funny.
Because whether you believe it or not, funny matters.

Meeting Magicians

2006-09-22T21:55:00.000-04:00

I can remember well the first time I met an actual honest to God celebrity.
Not a celebrity like a guy who played guitar on a local TV show each week. No, I'm talking about an absolute living legend.
His name was Henny Youngman. You might have heard of him. He was a legendary comedian.
He came to my home town as the headliner to celebrate the beginning of the artistic season of the Heritage Theater, and I was all a buzz. At this time I was a student of comedy, a collector of comedy albums (on vinyl) and to me the name Henny Yougman was like someone uttering the true name of God.
The night of the performance a man I know on the cities arts council, who knew I wanted to meet Henny, told there would be a signing after the show. Whooha!
So the show went on, and at the end Henny said he was selling books of his jokes and would sign them for charity. I stood up, got into line with my money, and prepared to meet greatness.
I will admit now that I ran through all the possible scenerios while standing in that line.
"Hello Mr. Yougman."
"How are you Mr. Youngman."
"How's the tour going Mr. Youngman?"
Meanwhile other people in line were yelling things out to Henny.
"Where are you headed next Henny?" Someone yelled. Notice this guy actually called him "Henny" while I was thinking "Mr. Yougman."
So the line moved, and I got closer, and finally it was my turn.
I handed him my money.
Henny took it, and wrote his name in a book, then handed it to me.
I took the book.
Then I nodded my head.
Than I left.
Did you notice that? Could you imagine that?
I didn't talk. I didn't do anything but nod my head. I left an idol of mine behind and all I did was hand him money and nod.
To this day I still go "Man I was so stupid." Because I was.

Years go by. I find myself in Vegas standing in line to meet Lance Burton. All I could think of was meeting Henny Yougman, and I promised myself I would not, WOULD NOT, do that again.
So I stood, and waited, and finally stood in front of the man.
"Hello." I said. So far so good. I am one word ahead.
"Hello, how are you?" Lance said in a calming southern drawl.
"I'm fine, thanks." I handed him a poster I had purchased for him to sign.
"What's your name?"
"Gord."
"Where are you from?"
"Toronto."
"Ah, Toronto Canada. I hear it's a nice place."
"If you like that sort of thing." Aha! A joke! This is going great!
"What did you think of the show?"
"It was spectacular."
"Well thanks for saying so." He handed me the poster back.
I held out a playing card and said "Would you mind?"
He took it. "Sure. Are you a gambler or a magician?"
"Magician."
"what kind of magic do you do?"
"Mostly family stuff."
He handed the card back. I held out my hand to shake his and he shook it. My wife held up a camera and Lance saw it and stood.
"Oh, a picture. Let's do this right." He leaned in and so did I. Jen took a picture. He sat down.
"Thank You very much Mr. Burton."
"You're very welcome. Enjoy your stay in Vegas."
I joined Jen and we walked away. When I was far enough away so I didn't look like an idiot in front of a legend, I pumped my arm and went "Yesssssssss."

These days I am comfortable in front of the stars of magic. Most of he time I remember that I am, now, a contemporary of these men and women and therefore on a pretty level playing field. Sometimes I call them "Mr.", sometimes just by their name. Sometimes I have something to say, sometimes I don't so I just say that I enjoy their work and leave it at that. Most of the time I have been treated with respect and the person I am talking to is as nice to me as I try to be to them. Sometimes they are not (Yes, I'm looking at you Gaeton Bloom) and I walk away disappointed, but on the whole magicians I have met are all good people who appreciate a little talk with an admirer.
On at least one occasion my true assessing of a magicians column in a magazine started a great conversation that, unfortunately, couldn't go on as long as I would have wanted.
The secret is always be nice, be polite and be interested. Follow this and you will be rewarded.

MOVIE MAGIC SMACKDOWN PART 2

2006-07-31T21:29:00.000-04:00

MOVIE MAGIC SMACKDOWN PART 2

More from Bill.  Apparently he wasn’t too thrilled with my last post about the upcoming movie The Prestige.

“Well, yeah... but... c'mon! I've heard you say WAY more than that about movies you've never seen before!How about the term 'the prestige'? Does it mean what they say? Did anyone actually use it? Did you read the book the movie was based on?How about Christian Bale and Hugh Jackman as magicians? I heard what you said about Criss Angel 'raising the bar' for how good a magician can look. What about Bale and Jackman?Or, if you must talk about OTHER movies, how about how magic is usually portrayed? Wasn't it you who told me the story about the special consultants brought in for the "magic" scenes in the 1967 Casino Royale?But yeah, you're right. I haven't seen it yet either and... it looks good.Billp”

Ok, I admit that I kinda glossed over the movie.  Pure laziness on my part.  So let’s set the wayback machine and start over, shall we.

The Prestige is an upcoming movie based on a book.
The plot is “In 1878, two young stage magicians clash in the dark during the course of a fraudulent seance. From this moment on, their lives become webs of deceit and revelation as they vie to outwit and expose one another. Their rivalry will take them to the peaks of their careers, but with terrible consequences. In the course of pursuing each other's ruin, they will deploy all the deception their magicians' craft can command--the highest misdirection and the darkest science. Blood will be spilled, but it will not be enough. In the end, their legacy will pass on for generations...to descendants who must, for their sanity's sake, untangle the puzzle left to them.”

The two magicians are played by Huge “Wolverine” Jackman and Christian “Batman” Bale.  Other roles are played by Michael “Will make movie for food” Caine, Scarlett “This shirt does bind, maybe I should take it off” Johannson, Ricky “Best damn magician in the whole freakin’ world” Jay and David “I’M BOFFIN’ IMAN” Bowie.

It is directed by Christopher Nolan, the man who brought us Momento, Insomnia, Batman Begins and Untitled Batman Begins Sequel.

Ok, so, what do I think of this movie?  Well, it looks good.  I like pretty much everyone involved and I like magic, so it’s win/win for me.  Truth be told I’d rather not get my hopes up on this one.  Magic and magicians have not really been treated well in hollywood.  They screwed up Houdini’s life story,  and the movie titled Magic was actually aboout a ventriloquist.  It is a sad state of affairs when the most posative protraial of magic and magicians is the character Gob on the late, great TV show Arrested Development.

So I’ll wait and see, and probably give you a review when the movie comes out.  In the meantime the movie The Illusionist opens August 18th, so let us focus our attention there, shall we.

Next Post: Damn it Bill, let me talk about something else!!!!!!!!!

Magic Movie Smackdown

2006-07-25T13:26:00.000-04:00

My good friend Bill from the blog The Bill Pages posted this smackdown:

“Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Hey! It's Ricky Jay!
What I want to know is why Gord hasn't done a post about either:a) how excited he is about Chris Nolan's upcoming film "The Prestige"orb) how badly Chris Nolan's upcoming film "The Prestige" is going to suck.Aside from Christian Bale, Scarrlett Johansson and Hugh Jackman, the trailer also affords us brief glimpses of Ricky Jay, one of the best card-slingers in the biz, and David Bowie who has the amazing magician-like power of scoring with Iman.What's up Gord? We're waiting...”

Right, not one to back down from a challenge, here is my reply.

The Prestige is a movie, based on a book, about magicians.

…
…
…

Seriously, what else is there to say?  It’s got a good director, a good cast and looks, well, good.  Not having seen the movie I can’t really say anything more than that.
But I can mention other magic movies.

First of all, there is another movie about an illusionist coming up.  It’s called The Illusionist and it stars Edward Norton, Jessica Biel and Paul Giamatti.  Its plot is as follows:

“A magician in turn-of-the-century Vienna who falls in love with a woman well above his social standing. When she becomes engaged to a prince, the magician uses his powers to win her back and undermine the stability of the royal house of Vienna.”

It’s based on Steven Millhauser's short story “Eisenheim the Illusionist” (A prize goes out to anyone who can tell me where the name “Eisenhiem” was attached to another fictional illusionist.)

There have been quite a lot of movies based on magic and magicians, and a few starring magicians.  Houdini, at one point, started his own movie studio in order to make “adventure” movies, all of which flopped.
Many people don’t know this but Orson Wells was a very dedicated magician.  He even, at one point, had his own illusion show.  Later in his life, whenever he was to appear on a talk show, he would more often than not, perform an illusion before being interviewed.  There is a very famous story told by a magician whose name I can’t recall (I think its Jim Steinmeyer, but I’m not really sure and I’m too lazy to do research) about one time Wells was to guest host the Tonight Show.
Instead of a monolog, Wells decided to do an illusion.  (I think it was the Ashra, where a woman floats then disappears, but again I’m just too lazy.)  He got the illusion, an assistant, and another magician who was familiar with the illusion.
Here’s what he did.  He sat in the front row of the audience and told the other magician to perform the effect.  After he was done Wells would say something like “Now perform it as if you were angry” and watch the performance.  He would then tell the magician to perform it again different way, then again and again.  After a few times of this he said he knew how to do it and that was that.  Wells, up to this point, hadn’t rehearsed the thing once.
That night Wells performed the illusion perfectly, again without rehearsing it himself.
(As an interesting aside, the regular Tonight Show host, Johnny Carson, was also an avid armature magician.)

As a final point (for now) another star who you may not know is an avid armature magician is Jason Alexander of Seinfeld fame.  In fact, recently he dedicated himself to putting together a 40 minute magic show and performed it at The Magic Castle.  All indications were that he not only did a damn fine job, but he was extremely professional.

Perhaps some time in the future I’ll mention a few more famous people you may not know are magicians, as well as a bit more about magic movies good and bad.

Reader Mail.

2006-05-23T14:12:00.000-04:00

Reader mail: Motta and Chance plus others.

It’s that time again folks.  Reader mail round up.
First, a letter from Bob Chance fro Motta and Chance Rock The House, the magic show I tore into a few posts ago.

“A bit harsh, but ever magician had to start somewhere, so as bad as you may have thought it was it was a learning experience. Not being able to perform ever...wow...that's just not cool.As a magic enthusiast maybe u should try with constructive points rather than bashing points its a brotherhood of magic right!? But with everything there will always be people to bash out or lash out... could it be better of course. But u picked out 2 tricks that and 1 that didn't go well... I am disappointed and hope that the person who wrote that review invites me out to their show to for me to be a critic...it'll probably never happen but I'll keep hoping. Thanks for coming out and and I hope the $20 door didn't hurt your wallet too much. But we will keep coming out and it will only get better. Thanks for the feedback and please let me know when you perform so that I can watch you too! All the best...CHANCE of Motta & Chance Magic.”

Gord Replies:  Yes, you are right, every magician has to start somewhere, but your show was not a “start,” it was a public show, heavily advertised, with a couple of hundred people in a theater all of whom paid real money.
The fact is your show was un-scripted, under rehearsed, far too long and at one point insulting to a volunteer.  (Yeah, that bit with a plunger on the head, real mature.  Notice how few people wanted to volunteer after you did that bit?  I did.  Two.)
By the way, my view is not a rare one.  Someone you know, probably quite well, reviewed the show to me a few days later with the quote “Well, I’ve seen worse.”
As for being a magic enthusiast, therefore I should support your show.  Just because I am also a magician does not mean I have to support BAD magic.  That’s kinda like asking a priest to support Jim James because, hey, they are both men of God.  (Look it up.)
As for my show, I will make sure to send you a pair of tickets and you can feel free to enjoy or not enjoy it.  In fact, I’ll even let you post your review of my show on MY blog, that is how sure of it I am.
Why am I sure it will be good?  Well, I started researching and scripting it last June.  I rehearse it every day. (And yes, I have a full time job.  Do you know how hard it is to rehearse when you’ve been up since five in the morning?)  I have a friend helping with the scripting, I have a director. (That cost me nothing, sometimes all you have to do is ask.)
When my show, (Titled Magic With the Sleight-est Hint of Cheese, by the way.  Just so you’ll know it when you see the poster.) goes up, it may be bad, but at least It’ll be rehearsed, scripted, directed etc.  At least I would have tried to make it better then the rest.  At least I can say, proudly, that I worked my ass off for this bad show.
But it won’t be bad.  I wouldn’t dare put a bad show on.  I wouldn’t insult the long and illustrious history of magic like that.
Here ends the lesson.

Next, someone replies to my post where I reviewed three shows.  Kreskin, Copperfield and Friday Night Magic.

Anonymous said:
“Who the hell are you to comment on shows? You are just some lowly nobody who has nothing going for himself, a crappy magician that will never amount to anything but and internet junkie....”

Hmmmm, I wonder who this could be?  Mark or Paul, Mark or Paul?  I’m going for Paul here since Mark isn’t afraid to put his name to his insults.
You want to know who the hell I am?  I am a magician, but above that I am a fan.  And as a fan I demand a certain amount of professionalism when I see a public show.   I expect to see well rehearsed, scripted material.  I do not expect to see people “winging” it.  “Winging” it is unprofessional and insulting to the audience.  PERIOD!!!!!
We deserve better.
I, by the way, am also a human being that lives in a democracy, and that gives me the right to air my views on ANYTHING, much like it gave you the right to post your reply.  Don’t like it, go to Cuba and see what a free idea gets you.
As for being a nobody.  Yeah, I’ll give you that.  My name is nothing in the world of entertainment, and I don’t care.  At least this nobody cares about the art of Magic.  At least this nobody knows well enough to say “no” when not prepared.  At least this nobody can hold his head high and say with confidence “I give a damn!”
BTW: Next time have the balls to sign your name.

Again, someone without the balls to put his name to his reply said:
“Who are you to be able to have the audacity to even try to critic Copperfields show....you are pathetic.”

Wow, I didn’t think my Copperfield review was that bad.  Well, my coward, I state again that I am a fan, and in this case I was a fan that invested quite a bit of money into this show, and those little bills with the Queen’s picture on them allow me the right to say if I was dis-satisfied with Copperfield’s performance, much like I have a right to complain about a meal at a restaurant that I have to pay for.
But hey, I guess were not allowed to have opinions, are we.  I guess we are supposed to blindly applaud disappointing and just plain bad performances and let those crappy magicians believe that they are good because we live in a time where hurting others feelings is bad.
Sure, I could look at you, whoever you are anonymous coward, and say “Yes, your performance was good,” when it sucked, but for what end?  So that you can stay bad?  So you never grow?  So that you live your life in a delusional state that you are good?  Is that what you want?  To be bad and stay bad?
I won’t do that.  There is a long and wonderful history associated to the Art of Magic and I am not going to sully it by pretending bad is good.  I am not going to rape magic by allowing crap to go unnoticed.
At least I care, which is more than I can say for you.
Oh yeah, just so you know I have received my fair share of bad reviews over time, and yes I get pissed, but I listen and take notes and try to better myself.  Don’t believe me, ask my friends.  (Yes, I have friends.)  Being that they are all artistic types (Actors, writers, directors etc.) they are never afraid to tell the truth and you can be damn sure after so long of this I can take it.

But hey, you can’t say I don’t put my money where my mouth is.  Much like I did for Mr. Motta above, (Notice he had the balls to post his name, you coward) if you post you real name I will make sure you get a pair of tickets to my upcoming show and will allow you to post a review right here, on my blog, unedited.  (Hell, I won’t even check for spelling and grammar.)  THAT is how sure I am about my show.  THAT is how sure I am that I am doing the right thing.
It’s up to you, anonymous stranger.  A public airing of your name for a chance to put me in my place.  What do you say?

Oh yeah, this is the last free pair I will give away, just in case you think all you have to do is bad mouth me to get free tickets.

Next Post:  I’m sure I’ll get some more reader mail, but I’ll try to think up something else to write about.  (Us uncreative nobody’s have trouble with original thoughts, don’t you know.)

KEITH BARRY EXTRAORDINARY: A REVIEW

2006-05-17T16:16:00.000-04:00

KEITH BARRY: EXTRAORDINARY: A REVIEW

Last Friday, the CBS network presented to North American audiences the new star of magic, Keith Barry and his special Extraordinary.  The one hour special featured Barry performing for big name stars such as Jessica Simpson, Mathew McConaughey and the hosts of Entertainment Tonight.
So, what did I think?
I liked it, kinda.

Let me explain.  (No, it will take too long, let me sum up.)

First of all, Barry’s personality for most of the special was of a “regular kind of bloke.”  This is quite refreshing in this day and age, since “regular kind of bloke” seems to be the last thing magicians these days seem to want to be.  I hope somewhere, somehow this influences young magicians who seem to think to be a magician means you mumble a lot.
Then there are the tricks themselves.  Some were outstanding (Like the triple prediction with Mathew McConaughey), some were weird (like the spider prediction with Jessica Simpson, although it was Ms. Simpson that made it weird.  What exactly was she on?) And one trick was, well, confusing (What exactly was he doing with The Divinci Code?  It was really badly done and confusing.)
And then there was the “Big Finish.”  The hanging bit.  I had a problem with this in that the lead up (The picking of the nooses, the deciding of where he stood) took far too long and was far too wordy, but even with that the visual of a guy on the gallows, possibly ending his life but then plunging downwards to safety was an outstanding visual.  (A hell of a lot better then a guy jumping into cardboard boxes.)
So, what is the end result?  Well, it was mostly good.  If they had taken out the Davinci Code trick it would have been better, but for a first special I believe it was really good.
Rumor has it that Mr. Barry has signed for two more specials.  I for one look forward to what he does next.
And no, I am not going to compare him to David Blaine’s latest special.  Comparing the two is like comparing apples to really boring mumbling kind of oranges.

Next Post:  Finally, I am going to address the hate mail I’ve gotten.

David Blaine: Drowned Alive

2006-05-09T12:34:00.000-04:00

DAVID BLAINE: BEFORE

I was going to reply to some hate mail I’ve recently received, but I thought I should do a bit about David Blaine, since his new T.V. special airs tonight. (Monday)
I’ll be honest, I used to like Blaine. I thought his first special was outstanding, especially the focus on the audience reaction to the tricks. While I have never been a fan of blaine’s “jeans and mumbling” style of magic, I found the first special good for magic in general.
Of course, the changed with his second special.
What happened? Well, first I realized that the focus on the audience was done because Blaine lacks as a magician. Secondly, those stupid stunts. Really, who cares about a guy standing in a block of ice, or buried in a coffin or standing on a pole?
Well, apparently people care. Before and after Blaine’s specials people start to talk, about magic and magicians and, yes, about those stupid stunts. People hear about a Blaine special and they want to talk magic and see magic.
Not only that, but how many young magicians have started out by seeing a Blaine special and being inspired? Really, how can that be bad?
So fine, I don’t like Blaine but I like his influence. It’s that state of confusion that I live my life in.

DAVID BLAINE: AFTER

Boring, boring, boring, really boring, boring, boring, boring, boring, extremely boring, boring, boring, still boring, boring, boring, boring, interesting, quite interesting, very interesting, oh my god, the President is going to kill himself, boring, boring, boring, boring, Why would that idiot help the President? Boring, boring, boring.
(Note, I switched to 24 after the first hour and checked back on Blaine during commercials.)

Ok, maybe I’m being simplistic here, but let’s face it, the first hour and forty minutes of Blaine’s special was boring.
Ok, I get it. He’s in the water, he’s going to hold his breath, and he’s been training here there and anywhere. I get it; I got it, ENOUGH ALREADY!!!!!!
Yes, he did some magic. The emphasis goes on the word ‘some” there. While I didn’t purposely time it, the first actual magic didn’t happen until 25 minutes in. Not a good start for a “magi” special.
But let’s face it, these specials are no longer about magic, they’re now about the stunts, and the stunt isn’t enough to fill two hours of TV time.
And then there was the “stunt.”
The problem with these stunts are the fact that, since this is TV, what is real and what is fake is a blurred line.
Here’s what I know. Blaine was in danger, real danger. He was really struggling, his face turned blue. His hands and feet are really screwed up.
But beyond that … I don’t know. Did they plan on him not making it in advance; I mean was he supposed to not make it? Did they figure it was better TV and planned it this way? These are the problems that TV brings. You can’t be 100% sure what is real.
I do know this. If Blaine purposely stayed under until his face turned blue, then he is one screwed up person and needs some real help fast.
If it was real, and they expected him to make it, and he didn’t, then Blaine is now a real screwed up person and needs some help fast.
Either way, I hope he takes some time off and re-evaluates his life’s goals. Nothing, and I mean nothing, can be worth this.

PLEASE NOTE: Nowhere in the above post did I say I was in any way better than David Blaine, so save your hate mail. (I get enough already.) I will state it for the record now. I am not better than Blaine, I am different, that’s all. I will only say I’m better than him on the eve of my first TV special.

NEXT POST: There is another magic special on Friday. It looks entertaining, which seems to be rare in magic specials. I will review the special, and state that I am better than THIS guy. (Screw you.)

AFTER THAT: I got hate mail, and I tear a few new ones in my replies.

Doug Henning in Glorious Color!

2006-04-23T23:19:00.000-04:00

Doug Henning produced nine magic specials. None of them are available to the public in any legal way. The movie version of his hit Broadway play The Magic Show is available on DVD, which is nice. But it would sure be fun to see flower child and long haired freaky person Doug interact with, say, Ann Jillion. (Yeah, I don't remember her either.)
Thanks to Youtube.com, possibly the greatest web site in the galaxy, we now can.

Enjoy

Worst Show Ever.

2006-04-05T10:32:00.000-04:00

Ok, I know. I’ve been a little behind on my posting since the New Year. I’d like to say the trend won’t continue but I cannot make any promises. I am quite busy with several projects but I think I can spare a half hour here and there to keep this up to date.
I hope.

One of the problems I have had, at least since my last posting, is that I wanted to give a review of the last magic show I’ve seen, but the show was so horribly, horribly bad that I wasn’t sure how to review without someone putting a bounty on my head.
But, what the hell, here it goes.

On Friday March the 25th, 2006 my wife and I were witness to a magic show titled “Motta & Chance Magic: Rock The House.” At Dave & Busters. I want you to take a good look at the promo card to the right. Can you see these two guys’? What type of magic do you think they do?
Did you say “Street Magic?” I knew you did.
You see, I don’t blame David Blaine for the whole Street Magic craze. I blame the first guy who saw David Blaine perform and said, “Hey, I can do that just like he does!”
But still, it has gotten ridiculous. Every magician of a certain age group wants to look, act and perform like David Blaine.
And yet Motta & chance surprised me. They were not complete David Blaine clones; let’s just call them faded copies.
So what about the show. Well, before it began there were close up magicians, looking and acting like Blaine, strolling around the theater. One performed for my wife and I and I have to say he was technically pretty good, he had his chops, but performance wise he was lacking. He did do this one trick where the deck was mixed up, one half up one half down, and they suddenly all turned one way except for the chosen card. (Pay close attention to that last bit, it will become important later.)
It was good that there were close up performers, because the show started a half an hour late and Jen wouldn’t let me get another beer, so I was in a bad mood before the show began.
The show started with a promo reel of Motta & chance performing, well, street magic. On the street, in a restaurant and even on TV. It did not bode well for the rest of the show.
Now, due to space limitations I am not going to go into detail over each individual routine, but there are some things that really bothered me. Like the opening routine, which was silk, candle and cane manipulation. One of the two did fine, the other was just a moment too slow, therefore giving away how the tricks were done.
Then they did some “Shtick.” Totally un-scripted. The problem with not scripting a show like this is that all of the “patter” comes off as a series of “Um’s” and “No way’s.” It sounded amateurish, mainly because it was.
They challenged each other to do magic with props the other guy “surprised” them with. First Chance challenged Motta to do a routine using three uneven pieces of rope he just happened to have on him. (Again, this part came off as a mess since it was unscripted.) And so Motta did a rope routine. It wasn’t bad, not bad at all. Then Motta Challenged Chance to swallow needles and thread.
Now here’s an interesting thing. They had video cameras and the camera came in close so you could see the needles go into the mouth, unfortunately you couldn’t see the needles go into the mouth. We did see the thread though, and he made a face like he was choking, reached into his mouth and, here’s the part that gets me, pulls out a bundle of needles wrapped in thread. The then spent the next thirty seconds pulling it all apart to show the needles are tied to the thread. The thing is I can’t tell if he meant to do it this way or not. If he did, he ruined a classic of magic, if he didn’t it proves that he was under rehearsed and shouldn’t have done this show.
And that pretty much sums it up. They shouldn’t have done this show. They didn’t script, they were under rehearsed and they obviously didn’t do a tech dress. As well the show itself was almost two hours long with no break. Then there is this. Remember that trick the close up guy showed me? That very trick was performed two more times during the show. That means I paid twenty bucks a piece to see the same trick three bloody times.
Really, truly I cannot fully describe how horribly bad this show was. It should have been taped and released on DVD as a lesson of what not to do. I hope these guys’s learned a good lesson, I really do, but I doubt it. They should never be allowed to perform publicly again.

Was that too harsh? Good!

A Tale of Three Shows

2006-03-13T14:18:00.000-05:00

A Tale of Three Shows

Over the course of the past week or so I have been privileged enough to see three different types of magic shows.  I find it interesting to compare these shows and discover what the differences and similarities are, especially during the last show I will describe.

SHOW ONE:  The Amazing Kreskin.

I know some people who think about the Amazing Kreskin and laugh like he’s a pair of rugger pants.  Old, outdated and kinda geeky.  And yet he tours the world and is probably one of the most well known mentalists in the world.  I will admit there may be better mentalists, possibly Max Maven, but do you know who Max Maven is?  Do you know who Kreskin is?  See!  Kreskin is world famous, and there is a reason for that.
His show is professional, he is friendly and personable and what he does is out of this world.  He reads minds like he’s reading a newspaper, imparting information that it is impossible for him to know.
And did he entertain?  Pardon my use of a colorful 1920’s catch phrase, but AND HOW!  He held the audience in the palm of his hands from the moment he strode onto the stage.  If you want to see an example of a magical entertainer, then go see Kreskin.

SHOW TWO: David Copperfield.

Ah yes, the master of illusion.  The best-known magician in the world and owner of eleven world records.  And yet, I found the show lacking in illusions (Three by my count) and over flowing in comedy, and therein lies the problem.
While I enjoyed the show, I couldn’t help but wish he had a few more illusions and a few less “audience participation comedy” routines.
It’s a good thing when you can be self deprecating, and it’s a good thing when you can entertain with humor, but this show had far too much of both.  By the end I figured he was so rich because he stopped carrying around those illusions and bought a smaller van to carry around the ducks.
While I don’t want to give the impression that the show was bad, it wasn’t, but it wasn’t the type of David Copperfield show he became famous for.  I miss the illusions.

SHOW THREE: Friday Night Magic.

Every Friday at the Charlotte Room in downtown Toronto, a half a dozen magicians perform in a “club” setting.  No stage, no microphones just magicians and audience.  Normally I would enjoy such an intimate show, but the quality of Friday Night Magic, at least on this particular Friday, was shaky at best.
How can I describe it?  Well, the guy who MC’d refused to stand still and obviously never scripted a word.  There was a mentalist who started talking about “The four stages of mind reading” and then only mentioned what the third stage was.  There was a gollum of a magician who stole lines from Paul Daniels and screwed up his own trick and a second mentalist who, again, obviously never scripted and seemed to have no stage personality.
Of course, when the standards are low even those who are semi-good stand out.  Fortunately two magicians were more than semi-good, they were outstanding.
The first, a manipulator named Adolfo, was outstanding.  He made cards appear from, well, seemingly everywhere.  The only problem he seemed to have was timing the ending of his routine with the ending of the music, but that can be excused.
Then there is James Harrison.  He was professional, charming, and pulled off everything he tried.  The only problem he had was in projecting his voice, but he’s going to be working on it.  James finished his act with a demonstration of pickpocket magic, a type of magic that requires finesse and sensitivity, and he pulled it off perfectly.  He even stole my wife’s watch and she didn’t have a clue.  James was the highlight of an otherwise bland night of magic.

So there it is.  Three shows, three different points of view.

So Hows The Show Going?

2006-01-22T20:44:00.000-05:00

So, How’s The Show Going?

Thanks for asking.  It’s going pretty good.

Oh, you want more?
Damn.

Well, the first draft script is in place waiting for Todd (Co-writer and Producer) and Tracy (Director and Producer) to have a gander.  On New Years Eve I gave them half the script and they seemed to enjoy what they read, as well they’ve viewed the video of the August 27th show and said they enjoyed that as well.
So on that way, things are going great.  It’s nice to know the people who are putting up the (Hypothetical) money think you are doing a good job.

I, on the other hand, have one small problem with the script.  I think I am using volunteers too much.  Think of it, right now I have three volunteers per act.  While the second act doesn’t bother me I’m thinking I should probably only use two in the first act which means something has to go or be changed.
I am voting for the first real trick.  It’s something I have used to open my short stage act for some time, and it works well, but for a longer show I’m worried it may show me interacting with a volunteer in the wrong way, which would impact the rest of the show negatively.
Or maybe it’s just me.  Fortunately that is why Todd is co-writing.  He’ll be able to figure it out.

Now that I have a script I need to start working on rehearsal, which has never been easy for me.  I am lazy by nature (Isn’t that an R&B group?), as well I feel really silly standing alone talking to an invisible audience.

I am meeting with Todd & Tracy in early February, I have a good feeling about this.

Oh yeah, did I mention I though of a new trick to add during the first half hour of that new King Kong movie.  That was twelve bucks well spent.

Worst Chrtistmas Show Ever Part 4.

2006-01-15T15:54:00.000-05:00

Part one can be found at http://bitesofmagiccheese.blogspot.com/2005/12/worst-christmas-show-ever-part-1.html
Part two can be found at http://bitesofmagiccheese.blogspot.com/2005/12/worst-christmas-show-ever-part-2.html
Part three can be found at http://bitesofmagiccheese.blogspot.com/2006/01/worst-magic-show-ever-part-3.html

Part 4.

… I had a quick check of my watch and noticed … I was running way fast.
You see I had the show timed so that by the end of, say, the third trick a certain amount of time had passed.  Not a set amount of time, but at this point I should have between this amount of time and that amount of time passed.
This way, when I check my watch and I see, for example, that I may be running fast then I can slow down a bit, maybe tell a joke to spread the time out.  Now I had been fast before, but at this point I was way fast, in fact if I had continued at this speed I might have shaved a good ten minutes off the show.
So I stalled.  I used the magic of “Knock Knock Jokes.”  That’s right; to kill time I tell knock knock jokes.  As adults we think these jokes are corny but kids love them, and they all know a few so I start out by telling a couple of my favorites then ask “Does anyone else know a good knock knock joke?”
Let me tell you something you may not know.  There are hundreds, maybe thousands of knock knock jokes out there, but kids only know two, and one of them they never get right.
The two jokes end with the punch lines “No need to cry, it’s only a joke.” and “Orange you glad I didn’t say Banana?”
Guess which one they never get right.
So, two jokes from me, two jokes from the kids, a Quick check of my watch and I am now only five minutes fast.  Now all I have to do is slow down the delivery of the last couple of tricks and all shall be fine.
This is the part where I open my mouth to speak and nothing comes out.
I try again and once again nothing.
I can feel that my throat is dry, a problem that pops up during winter, which is why I always keep a bottle or two of water in my case.  I had a quick sip and tried again.  This time a sound came out, a kind of squeak.  Another sip and another squeak.
Dear God I had lost my voice!
Now let me tell you I have theater training.  I have been performing in theater since I was nine years old.  Over the years I have learned many ways to warm up your voice before a performance, and I always use some of them before any show, so I should not be loosing my voice.
And yet I was.
I think this is a good time to let you know some of my inner thoughts.  At this time I was thinking “AAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!”
So what did I do?  I did whatever I could do.  Using my voice at normal levels wasn’t working so I started to yell, that gave me a voice that was almost loud enough to get by, but I know it wasn’t going to last so I gave up on time and went right to my last trick.
Big Mistake!
While I figured it was a good idea at the time I had forgotten that my last trick, “The Scary, Scary Trick of Doom” was a good eight minutes long, while I could have gone for a different trick that was only three minutes long.
It didn’t matter; I was knee deep into the trick before I realized it was a stupid mistake on my part.  By the end of the trick I didn’t even pretend to be speaking, I just mimed everything and hoped it worked.

There, the show was over.  Now all I had to do was give each and every kid a balloon animal, collect my pay and get out of there.  Now today I no longer do balloon animals after my shows, but back then I did one for each child and, because kids are kids, would usually end up either re-twisting or making new one’s for about a third of the kids.
When making balloon animals I take the time to chat up the kids and see what they liked about the show and what they didn’t like.  On this day I kept my mouth shut.  All I would say (in a squeaky voice) is “And what animal would you like?” and then do it.  No chit chat.
Now my show usually takes about forty-five minutes, balloon animals usually take about the same amount of time.  (Which is part of the reason I don’t do them anymore.)  After the show I looked around to find “Gail” and spotted her across the cafetorium.  During the balloon animal portion I would occasionally take a peek at Gail, and each time she caught my eye she would look at her watch and sigh.
Fine, she wanted me gone and I wanted to go, so I twisted as fast as I could, packed up my show and took all my stuff outside the door to the cafetorium.  Now all I had to do was get paid and I could go home and rest my poor voice.
And wouldn’t you know it, when it was time to pay Gail was nowhere to be found.  I looked high and low, and couldn’t find her.  I even asked someone where she was and got this bit of advice “Well, I’m sure she’s busy.  Why don’t you leave your address and I’m sure she’ll mail your pay.”
Yeah, right!
Sop I got sneaky.  I stood at the entrance, looked around (noticing the woman I had talked to was watching me), gathered my things and went to put them in the car.  At the car I waited for a few minutes (Just enough time to let them think I had left for good) then went back in.  Wouldn’t you know it, Gail and that other woman were chatting.  (I wonder about what?)  I went over to them and cleared my throat.  They both seemed a little shocked at seeing me, but I said (As best I could) that the show was over and if I could just get paid I’d be out of their hair.
Gail said “Of course, let me just find the treasurer and I’ll get you a check.”  And disappeared for another ten minutes.
But I stood my ground.  I wasn’t going to leave until I got paid so, even though people were leaving, I stayed.
Eventually Gail had no choice.  She rushed across the room, shoved a hand written personal check into my hand and said, “Ok, well, goodbye.”
I should note here that no magician would, in his right mind, accept a personal check.  I thought about complaining that our arrangement was either cash of a company check, but I knew I wouldn’t get either so I just smiled and left.
My next stop was the closest Royal Bank, where I deposited the check immediately.  (It cleared, by the way.)

So, what lessons were learned by this experience?  Only one.  No matter how well planned you think you are, there is always the chance that someone will screw it all up for you.  It is the one thing you cannot plan for.

So there it is, the worst Christmas show ever.  It took over a month to get it out and I hope it was worth it.  (I doubt it was.)  This would be a good time to mention that I have not done a Christmas (Or Holiday) show in two years and I do not miss it.  There is a belief that, as a magician Christmas shows are a must.  A necessary evil if you will.  I don’t believe that.  As a middle-aged man I don’t have to do anything I don’t want to. (Outside of work or eating my wife’s cooking.)
You say I have to do Christmas shows, I say if you have to do them then you are doing them for the wrong reason.  You should do them because you want to and, since I don’t want to and since if I did them I would be doing them only for the money, then I opt out.
I have a good job, it pay’s well.  If I want money I’ll do overtime.  If I want to perform I’ll do that as well, not just for the money but because I want to perform.  (Of course I wouldn’t perform for free, that would just be silly, but money would not be the only factor.)

There is one other reason I don’t do Christmas shows anymore.  It’s because I believe I want to do a show that I want to do.  A stage show.  A dream show.  It is where my energy’s are right now and it is where I believe my fate (if you believe in that sort of thing) is leading me.  It’s a lot of work, it’s also a lot of money, but in the end it will be worth my while because, even if I fail, I can at least say I tried.  With all my heart and soul I tried.
And that is what is worth it!  (Bad sentence structure and all!)

Next Post:  The Penultimate Worst Christmas Show Ever.  Part 1 of 352.

Worst Christmas Show Ever Part 3.

2006-01-02T22:17:00.000-05:00

Since it has been some time since I updated this Blog, if you need a reminder of what has come before please check out part 1 at http://bitesofmagiccheese.blogspot.com/2005/12/worst-christmas-show-ever-part-1.html, then part 2 http://bitesofmagiccheese.blogspot.com/2005/12/worst-christmas-show-ever-part-2.html.

So here I was, in a "Cafetorium" preparing to do my Christmas Magic Show. So far the person in charge “Gail” had taken everything she agreed to and either ignored it or turned it into a very bad situation for me, but what could I do? Yes, I could just up and leave, but I would never do that. Just because I was in a bad situation doesn’t mean the kids should go without their magic show.
I was ready, and Santa was still calling out names and handing out presents. Again, what could I do? I had to work around it.
I couldn’t find Gail so I openly and loudly announced that the magic show was about to begin. My voice travelled about a foot. Auditoriums are not made for theatre; they are made for dodge ball, so sound does not carry very well. So I went around to the various spots where the children were and again announced the magic show would begin in five minutes. The kids were thrilled (something I love) but the parents seemed ticked. All the grown ups looked at me like I was intruding on a conversation that would change the world, one man told me to shut up.
Oh yes, Santa. There was a small crowd of kids by Santa so I went up, waited until Santa was done with the child on his lap, politely said “excuse me Santa, but I just wanted all the kids to know the magic show was about to start.” Fortunately Santa was a nice guy (kinda) and said “Oooh, children, a magic show. Why don’t you go watch the show and Santa will call you when it’s time for your present.”
Like I said, kinda a nice guy. But he could have been worse I suppose.

So here I was, standing in front of jackets and shoes, starting my warm up bits of business. I used my loud voice because, again, acoustics but discovered a problem I never, ever encountered before, not even in auditoriums. My voice, even loud, carried a few feet in front of me, but not too the sides. So I was about a minute into my speal when a parent from my right went “We can’t hear you!”
I was shocked. I looked at the parent (I wasn’t angry by the way, after all how would I act in the same situation) and I repeated, “You can’t hear me?”
The parent nodded and I turned to my left. “Could you all hear me?” I asked to my left.
“No.” Some of the children replied.
“Oh great.” I thought (although I didn’t really think “great”, I swore in my head but this is a family blog.) I took a moment to try and figure out a solution, the first thing I did was try and get the audience to smush together a bit more, and I then moved my performing area back a bit. Ok, if I speak louder then more people can hear me at once, for the rest I’ll just have to repeat myself … a lot.
And don’t forget, every few minutes Santa would call out another name to get their present. How the hell his voice carried, I have no idea. I have been trained to make my voice heard by a deaf little old lady at the back of an auditorium and couldn’t be heard a foot to my left.
After I made it through my opening speech, with a little repeating myself, I went into my first trick. It was an apparatus heavy trick with music. I had purchased a small, black tape player with one speaker. It was small but it was loud, and of course it was not heard. I must have looked a sight, dancing around like that, but I did it and it got applause.
I fought the acoustics for a few more tricks, getting good response, when I saw him.
Santa!
Across the room I saw Santa stand, chat with a couple of kids, and start to cross the room. He stood in the back of the crowd and patiently waited until I had finished a trick then said, “I’m sorry to disturb everyone, but I just wanted to let you all know I was leaving and I wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. And now, back to the magic show.”
Wasn’t that nice? Of course it didn’t happen. He wasn’t polite, he didn’t stand in the back, he actually walked around the crowd, stood next to me while I was in the MIDDLE of a trick, and proudly announced. “Hey Kids, I’m leaving and I just wanted to say Bye! Ho ho ho.”
And he kept “Ho ho ho” ing right out of the room, taking the attention of the children with him.
And me? I just stood there with a stupid grin on my face, holding onto my magic prop for dear life. My mind was blank, all I could think about was a jolly fat man in a red suit being run down by a Dodge Neon. The only words in my head were swear one’s.
But I had to say and do something to salvage the situation, so I said “Ahhhhhhh, well, bye Santa. Ha ha ha. So anyway, if you recall we were just about to …” and continued the routine, slowly getting some of their attention back.

Just for fun, after this trick, I had a quick check of my watch and noticed …

To be continued. (No, I mean it; I will finish this damn thing THIS week.)

Next Post: It’s March 12th and I forgot what I was writing about!

Worst Christmas Show Ever Part 2

2005-12-18T12:18:00.000-05:00

Worst Christmas Show Ever Part 2.

To re-live the first part of this post, please go to http://bitesofmagiccheese.blogspot.com/2005/12/worst-christmas-show-ever-part-1.html

As you know from reading the first part of this post I figured I had covered my bases pretty well during the initial conversation with “Gail.”  As I promised I contacted Gail a few days before the event to make sure everything was going according to plan.  Gail assured me everything was fine.  Again I mentioned what I need to make a successful show. (Again, see part 1 http://bitesofmagiccheese.blogspot.com/2005/12/worst-christmas-show-ever-part-1.html)  Again, she agreed to my stipulations.
So far everything was going along just swimmingly.

On the day of the event I made sure I left my house with plenty of time to spare.  Whenever I am doing a party like this, and I can spare the time, I always tend to end up having more than enough time to spare.  In this case instead of arriving fifteen to twenty minutes before the event like I said I would, I was a half an hour.  Not a problem, I rarely get in trouble for arriving too early.
A brief moment about the drive.  That particular day was a bad weather day.  It was raining AND snowing at the same time, making the roads a royal mess.  As well the sky was gray and the people on the radio were talking about the J.F.K. assassination.
A sign of things to come.
When I arrived I went in without my “magic boxes” to scope out the situation.  Of course when I met Gail her first question was “Where is your stuff?”  I tried to explain that it was all in my car and that I just wanted to get a good look at my performance area first.
Now I rarely do this.  I usually trust the people who book me to make sure I have a good area to perform in, but today I had a, well, a feeling.  In response to this feeling I decided to scope the place out so that if I was given a bad spot then I could suggest a better location.
Unfortunately this turned out to be a major insult to Gail.  I had arrived without my magic cases.  How dare I!
“You should be ready to go.”  She said.
I explained that I had a good half an hour before I was scheduled to start and that it took less than five minutes to set up.  No good, I had just committed a mortal sin.
After a few minutes of being berated I was taken to my performance area.  Remember in part 1 when I was told that this party was being held in a “Cafetorium?”  (A combination of a cafeteria and an auditorium.)  Well folks this place was no Cafetorium, it was just a plain old auditorium, bad acoustics and all.  (It did have a stage though, more on this later.)
Now I didn’t complain.  I kept a straight face while inside I was shaking my head, but on the outside I was more than professional.  I then asked where she thought I should perform.  She pointed to an area just to one side of the auditorium doors.
“It’s just what you asked for.”  She said.
And she was right.  It was an area that had something behind me, in this case a wall.  Unfortunately between the wall and my performance area were all of the jackets and shoes of the people attending the party.  I imagined being in the middle of a trick and having a family of four leave, getting their things behind me just at the climax of a trick.
I politely suggested that maybe, because of the coats and shoes, I should perform in front of the stage.
“Nope, this is where you’re performing.”
Ok, fine, just another obstacle to overcome.  The next one was right across from me.  They had a Santa sitting on a badly decorated chair immediately across from where I would be performing.  I innocently asked “And the Santa will be done before I start?”
“I don’t know, just do your show and he’ll finish when he’s finished.”
Fortunately the food had already been served, almost.
“We’ll be putting dessert out during your show, we have a big Christmas cake for all the kids.”
“Well, could you save that until after my show?”
“I don’t know, we only have this place until 2, so we may have to serve it soon.  So, are you going to get your tricks now?”

Do you see where this is going?  Well let me tell you, the stuff you see is just part of the problem.  Stay tuned for part three on Wed. 21, 2005.  I promise it’ll be posted by then.

Worst Christmas Show Ever Part 1.

2005-12-06T18:56:00.000-05:00

Let what follows be a cautionary tale of expectations not met. Let it remind you that no matter how well prepared you may be, you will still sometimes be faced with terrible situations.

Several years ago a woman contacted me, let’s call her Gail, for a Christmas show for her company. Like most of you I have a short script describing my show in as glowing a way as I can present, and like most of you my script includes the answer to the first question they will ask.
“How much do you cost?”
I quoted Gail my price and, after a few short questions on her part, she booked me for the show. At this point I have a list of questions that I like to ask to get an idea of what I am to expect.
My first question in this situation is always “Is this holiday show or a Christmas show?”
Yes, it seems like a silly question, but in this day and age you can never be too sure so I find it best just to ask up front. Never in the years I have been doing holiday shows has anyone been offended by this question, and Gail was no different.”
“It’s a Christmas show.” She replied.
“And where will it be held?” I asked.
She replied with the name and the address of the facility. It was a local recreation center that specialized in children’s recreation and learning.
“What kind of room will the performance be in?”
Answer: “A cafetorium.” I remember this clearly. (For those who don’t know a cafetorium is a combination of a cafeteria and an auditorium. The acoustics in a cafetorium aren’t the best, but it’s better than a gymnasium. Remember that line, it becomes important in the second half of our story.)
Q: “How many children will there be? I just need a rough estimate.”
A: “Well right now we’re expecting about 30 children, but there may be more.”

Q: “Will there be a Santa Claus?”
A: “Yes.”
Q: “Will he be giving out presents?”
A: “Yes.”
Q: I know this sounds weird, but I ask it just to be safe. Is your Santa Claus called Santa Claus?” (Yes, a bizarre question but one I learned hard when I went to a Dutch reformed private grade school (I’m Irish by the way). They call Santa Claus “Sinterklaas” and he’s got this weird servent fellow named “Black Peter.” So just in case, I always ask..)
A: “Yes.”
Q: “Will there be music? Either recorded or a live performance?”
A: “We will be using a portable CD player to play Christmas favourites.”

This went on for a while. I have about fifteen questions I usually ask for a Christmas show and I always take notes while talking to a client just in case something funny is said and I need clarification.
After I ask my questions I give Gail a chance to ask any questions that may have popped up. There were none. So I start my speech. We all have them, it’s the little speal we say that tells them how we like to set up and where it’s best to perform etc. This speech had a few of the folling mentioned.

- I will not use the stage, it’ll be better if I was on floor level. (It’s the cafetorium thing. I’ve performed in them before and, like I said, the acoustics are just OK.)

- I need something behind me, a wall or even the stage. That way no one can sneak around behind me and distract the children or sneak a peek into my magic box.

- I will be using music so I would appreciate it if you could turn off your music while I am performing.

- As for Santa, it would be best if he either finished handing out gifts before I begin, or better yet he could come out after I’m done. Many other clients have had me introduce Santa at the end of my show and I’m quite good at it, so I would be willing to do that for you at no extra cost. (Don't you love it? It sounds like yoou are giving them a sweet deal for a couple of extra lines.)

- If there is food, again please serve it either before my show or after my show.

- Older family members are welcome to join the children and watch the show. It is a show for children but a lot of adults enjoy it as well. (Just for fun I have one (ONE) special joke I do for the parents. They always say you shouldn’t but I like to joke so it stays.)

(I want you to remember these points, because they become important in the second part.)
Gail agreed with everything I said and, since she had no other questions, I told her that I would call and confirm three to five days before the event but if she had any questions or concerns, or if there is a change in time or location, to feel free to call me.
With that, I had booked a Christmas show and everything leading up to the show was just hunky-dory.
And then, the day came ….

To be continued ………….

Great Magic Reads #2. "Conjure Times"

2005-11-27T19:27:00.000-05:00

Question: Who was the first American born professional magician?
I bet you’ll never get this one.

Give up? (You are gonna love this.)

The first American born professional magician was a man named Richard Potter.
Richard Potter was the son of a slave.
And yes, he was black. (Bet you didn’t see that one coming?)

Richard Potter was born on the country estate of Sir Charles Henry Frankland. His mother, Dinah, was born in Africa and kidnapped by Dutch slave traders and purchased by Sir Henry in Boston. It is possible that Richard was actually the son of Sir Richard because he was of mixed race.
At the age of ten Richard signed on to be a cabin boy with a Captain Skinner but only worked one Atlantic crossing. Arriving in Liverpool Richard accepted his pay and told the Captain that the life on the sea was not for him.
Not long afterwards he stumbled upon a fair and was taken by a Scottish ventriloquist and magician named John Rannie, who just happened to need an assistant. They traveled Europe together until the year 1800 when they went to America.
To make a long story short, they toured America until 1810, when Rannie told the crowd of his show that he would soon return to Scotland and Richard Potter would take over his show. In January 1810 the two performed together for the last time and on November 2, 1811 Richard Potter, a son of a slave, became the first American born professional magician.
By the time he died at age 52 in 1835, he had toured America, purchased a farm, married and had three children and lived a comfortable life.
Interesting, huh?

This story begins the fascinating book Conjure Times: Black Magicians in America by Jim Haskins and Kathleen Benson. A book filled with stories of successful magicians, many whose names have been lost to history. A read through this book is a fascinating history of entertainers who were considered of an inferior race but making successful lives and influencing others.
Let’s take the case of one Fetaque (pronounced “Fee-take”) Sanders. Grandson of sharecroppers, son of an insurance salesman with influential ties in Nashville, Fetaque volunteered at a magic show at the tender age of 9 and was instantly hooked. At age twenty he left Nashville to find his own way and became a successful magician as well as a very popular “Spook Show” operator. His influence is found today in the works of Sammy Smith, just to name one.

Then there is Charles Green The Third. Quite possibly the most successful trade show magician around today. How about Clarence “Chandu” Hunter who, while being a success on his own, was also responsible for starting out the careers of Jack “Goldfinger” Vaughn (No, the other Goldfinger) and a young boy named Arsenio Hall.
Of course, you cannot have a book about Black Magicians without mentioning David Blaine. (Although he claims at time to be Puerto Rican, or of Russian/Italian descent.)

Conjure Times: Black Magicians in America by Jim Haskins and Kathleen Benson is a stunning book, filled with stories of magicians who should be more well known than they are. An interesting notion in the book is that these men, as performers, were also very popular with white audiences. (Interesting, huh?) This is a lost history of Magic and a must read for anyone who wants the full picture of the depth of American Conjuring.

Conjure Times: Black magicians in America is available from Amazon.com by clicking HERE. Amazon.ca by clicking HERE. Through Abebooks by clicking HERE.

Review: " Penn & Teller: Off The Deep End."

2005-11-20T22:36:00.000-05:00

Review. “Penn & Teller: Off The Deep End.”

Last Sunday the world was treated to one of the boldest experiments in TV specials. “Bad boys of magic” Penn & Teller presented “Off The Deep End”, a magic special filmed under water. That’s right, under water.
Quite frankly, it’s the type of concept that could only come from a man who wrote a noir mystery book from the point of view of a stuffed monkey puppet and his partner.
Unfortunately, no matter how bold the plan was, the show fell flat on presentation. Why? Because there really wasn’t enough stuff to fill out an entire two hours.
Think about it, they presented a good five minutes on how to make people scream for the camera (an obvious stab at David Blaine). They got people to give wonderful quotes on air by showing that they prompted them. Interesting yes, but not entertaining.
And I think that sums up most of the special. Yes, it was interesting, but very little was entertaining.
For example, you now know how to do a four ace card trick on the beach. Ok, fine, but when exactly are you going to be able to do it? And even if you found yourself on the beach with a pack of cards, are you really going to bury the four aces with shells for markers? It was a trick that didn’t need to be in there because it didn’t advance anything except the idea that the exposure was a real one so they could set up the last joke exposure at the end. Quite frankly, it slowed the whole show to a crawl.
Ah yes, the exposures. In my last post I defended Penn & Teller’s exposures as a ruse to raise the hackles of magicians and to act as a kind of mis-direction to the audience. In this special the exposures were used the same way, allowing you to see how real tricks are done so you will believe the final “exposure”. (Which, by the way, was a joke.)
Unfortunately it didn’t feel that way. Because the show was done mostly under water there was no speed, just slow swimming, and the exposures just felt like exposure for exposure sake. It was as if they were saying “We expose, it’s what we do and is what we are expected to do, so we will expose.”
Even once the final gag “exposure” is done with, and you realize that the other exposures were just a set up to a punch line, it still just feels wrong.
The reason, I believe, it feels wrong was a question of speed. In my last post I used the idea of Penn & Teller’s exposure of the classic cups & balls, the fact that they use clear cups and actually tell you what they are doing but you actually never see what is happening and are just blown away by it. That trick requires a certain amount of speed to work, in this special speed was impossible so the exposures were, for the most part, just too damn slow.
Even the big illusion, making a submarine disappear, was too slow. It took forever for the blanket of bubbles to get high enough to cover the sub, too much build up. By the end, while I thought it was pretty neat, it still took too much time.
Not to say there wasn’t good magic in the show. Remember Teller making a glass goldfish bowl filled with fish appear? I know how that trick is done above water, and it requires a certain amount of mis-direction and speed. Teller had neither and yet there it was. I’ve watched the tape over and over and still cannot for the life of me see how he did it. Plain and simple, it was good damn magic; something the special could have used more of. (I won’t go into the pain given by the so-called “music” of guest Aaron Carter and that horrible song he sang about Penn & Teller.)
So, in the end, it was just a mediocre special with some wonderful moments. It should have been an hour shorter but then if I was given two hours on prime time TV I guess I would have stretched it out too.

For more on Penn & Teller, visit their web site at http://www.pennandteller.com/

Next post: Penn & Teller review my TV special. Oh wait, I don’t have one. A fact they will just repeat over and over for two hours.

So, What Do You Think About ... Part 2. Penn & Teller.

2005-11-10T21:56:00.000-05:00

Ah yes, the bad boys of magic. How can I possibly relate my thoughts about the act, the controversy and the accusations against this dynamic duo in one simple blog entry. Surely to do them justice I must take several entries and examine in detail all of the accusations laid against them. To give a balanced report and allow both pro and con points of view.
What the hell do I look like? Dan Rather? (although some say I am the spitting image of a young Ed Bradly.) I know it is fashionable these days to believe that some guy who has a blog suddenly becomes a legitimate journalist, but that's a crock. I am no more legitimate than ... Actually, I'm not going to go there. Sorry.
What I can give you is my thoughts and feelings, and one little piece of information I have kept to myself until a type of electronic forum, perhaps a diary of sorts, presented itself. Until that happens, I'll just write a blog about it.
You see, unlike most non-magicians and most magicians, I get Penn & Teller's joke. No, not the jokes on stage, the big joke. The theoretical joke. The joke that they have based their careers on, call it a conceptual joke if you will.

But first, a bit of history.
Penn and Teller first performed together in the early 1970's. They formed a group called "The Asparagus Valley Cultural Society." (Best name ever!) Penn juggled, Teller did silent manipulation and a man named Weir Chirsamer played the music. They performed in this form from the early 70's to the early 80's.
And that is when the real magic happened. Penn became the mouthpiece, Teller the silent partner. The act became "Magicians fool you and treat you like you are an idiot. We're gonna let you in on the secret and fool you anyway."
Broadway, TV specials, world tours and Las Vegas. They are one of the most successful magic acts of our generation.

They say that Penn & Teller expose tricks. They would be right. Penn & Teller expose tricks. They expose sleights. They expose like a master exposer on the most exposingist day of his life (Which just happens to be the national day of exposing).
Some people think of this as a bad thing.
Let's take the cups and balls. Everyone knows the cups and balls. Three cups, one ball. Ball penetrated cups, ball moves from cup to cup, big balls appear under cups etc. etc. etc.
Penn & Teller do it like this. Three cups, made of clear plastic, and balls made out of tissues. They then do the cups & balls all the while Penn is telling you what they are doing. Move for move, Penn is describing it and you (and this is the best part) do not see a damn thing.
Clear cups, no gimmicks and full instructions and you don't see A DAMN THING!
That is magic my friends.

Of course they have their detractors, and this is the best part. You see, Penn & Teller take the audience under their wing, they say "Don't worry, we're on your side." Magicians don't like this and are therefore falling into the trap. You see the big joke I talked about earlier is that Penn & Teller are pulling the leg of magicians. It's a big magical practical joke on us, and we all fell into their trap.
Penn & Teller say "We expose" and magicians go "They expose. Off with their heads!"
Penn & Teller say "We were kicked out of the Magic Castle" and magicians go "They got kicked out of the Magic Castle! Off with their heads!"
And we fall for it. Brilliant!
Oh yes, Just to knock their defenders down a peg, they actually have exposed. I've got it on tape. Plain old exposure. It happened, really it did.

Penn & Teller are genius. That what I think about that.

Next Post: Now Teller & Penn I don't so much like.

A Plea For Originality!

2005-11-06T15:18:00.000-05:00

An interesting review of a stage play in Toronto was published in the Toronto Sun this week. It was for a play titled “My mother’s Italian, My father’s Jewish & I’m in Therapy.” The plot of the play is, basically, a man is in his therapist’s waiting room and, well, I guess he goes over everything he should be saying to his therapist.
Some interesting quotes from the review.
“There is a point – and sadly, it comes very early on … when you find yourself wondering whether or not you’ve seen this whole 90 minute show before.”
The most telling quote is this:
“But, finally, what’s missing is freshness. How stale is it? There’s one joke involving a comatose drunk, a witty lass and a blue ribbon that I remember hearing almost 50 years ago at a church camp in the middle of Alberta.”
So what happened here is a guy put together a show of old jokes, wrapped them around a stale premise and now is on tour with it.
I cannot think of a better reason for originality than that. Think about it, if this guy can tour with old jokes then imagine how well you would be received with original material.

In 1999 I went to my one and only magic convention. The International Brotherhood of Magicians convention in Buffalo. I had a wonderful time during the three days I was there. (No thanks to the good people at the Adams Mark Hotel, who decided that all Canadians had to be out on Sunday night rather than Monday morning like we had originally booked, sending at least one friend of mine IN A WHEELCHAIR out to fend for himself. But I digress.)
One thing that bothered me was the competition, specifically the junior competiton. There were about five performers in that category that performed at the nighttime show, and four of them did dove acts. Not just dove acts, but the same dove act. The same props, the same table, the same moves at the same time, the only thing that was different was the music used.
I can only tell you how boring it was to watch the same act over and over again and pretend to enjoy it. Thank god one of the performers did something unique. (Well, unique for that night.)
Of course, when the winner was announced it was one of the dove workers.

Originality is not just a word or a concept; it is what we all should be striving for. It doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to invent new tricks and effects (although that is one way to be original and is surely good for the art of magic.) It does mean though that you should make your presentation as original as you can.
Let us take, for example, any ambitious card type routine. (The ambitious card is a trick where a chosen card keeps jumping to the top of the deck, mostly under different and more difficult circumstances.) Everyone has some form of ambitious card routine, and everyone has their own way of performing it, but really, how many of these presentations are as original as we think?
If you begin the trick by saying the chosen card is “…an ambitious card, which means it is always jumping to the top of the deck.” Then you are not being very creative. (And yes, I have heard this line of patter before from a very un-original magician.) Think about it for a moment, why is the card jumping to the top? Maybe it is a “trained card”, or maybe it is a “magnetic card” or possibly there is some outside force propelling it.
One of the most original performances of an ambitious card effect is done by Joshua Jay. In his trick “The Remote Control” from his book “Joshua Jay’s Magic Atlas” (page 139) Jay presents a trick where a card is chosen and lost in the deck. He then shows a television remote control and offers it to a spectator. When the spectator pushes the channel up button, the card rises to the top, when he presses the channel down button, the card goes to the bottom of the deck, and finally when the changer stops working you open the battery compartment and the chosen card is found folded up inside.
The effect was written when Jay was seventeen, so his patter was about becoming a man because he has his first T.V. remote. (I don’t know how he presents it now.)
Talk about originality at work. Taking a trick as old as dem dere hills and presenting it in such a unique way. With the added extra bonus of having that particular trick forever linked with the Joshua Jay name. This is what we must all strive for in our performance.

Next Post: More on originality. (Based on an essay published in 1936 by Reginald Gilderblat. I just changed the names.)

Great Magic Reads #1

2005-11-02T23:26:00.000-05:00

Shattering Illusions by Jamy Ian Swiss

Jamy Ian Swiss is a professional magician, specializing in close up magic with cards. He is also an artist who has thought quite a lot about his chosen art form. Those thoughts, and the conclusions he has come to, are collected in the essays that make up Shattering Illusions.
And they are important thoughts.
Take the introductory essay, titles “Why Magic Sucks.” (A bold title at that.)
“The fundamental task of magic is that of fooling the audience. In fact, the most basic definition of magic might be this: To be a magician, one must fool the audience.
But the problem is that for far too long magicians have stopped at that sentence and gone no further.”
Really, does there need more to be said? But more he does say.
“… For fooling the audience is, in and of itself, no measure of greatness. A magician who has learned to fool the audience is little more than a musician who has mastered the scales, a painter who has learned his brushstrokes, an actor who has learned to remember his lines and not bump into the furniture.”
Yes, words that seem so simple that they shouldn’t even have to be said, but they do need to be said, for we all need a reminder that magic is greater than just a game of “Ha ha, fooled you.”
Yet this is only a beginning, for over the course of the book Swiss passionately gives voice to the need for honest scripting and the joy of card tricks as well as history lessons on, of all things, the rise of the magic bartender. (It’s a lesson more important to the history of American magic than you would think.)
And his essay on the “Too Perfect Theory” is necessary reading and should be handed out freely at every magic store with every sale.
Mr. Swiss is honest and passionate about his beliefs, and along the way you too will become passionate. He is a good teacher and all he asks is for us to be attentive students.
I am not going to give a rating here, but I am going to tell you that if you wish to be a serious student of magic, then you need to read Shattering Illusions.

This is where I say I have met Jamy Ian Swiss, and I did once many years ago at a lecture in Toronto. (Not his lecture.) He was crowded by people who wanted to see his Pass. (Only magicians would ask to see a move instead of a trick.) I took a moment to introduce myself to him and mentioned how much I enjoyed his writing.
“What I like best is that you not only inform but challenge me to think about what you have written.” (Yes, I am a bit of a suck up.)
“That is exactly what I try to do.” He replied.
Shattering Illusions informs you, challenges you and most of all makes you think deeply about you, as a magician, and the magic you do.

Scripting Part 1.

2005-10-25T12:27:00.000-04:00

I have to admit, somewhat reluctantly, that in the twelve years I have been in magic I have only scripted a small amount of my effects. In fact, up to last August I could count the amount of scripted material I had on one hand. This fact shows you a few things about my take on magic. You could say I was immature about it, not really taking magic seriously.
You would be right.
It’s not that I had bad routines, just unscripted one’s. Let’s take a gander at a routine I developed for Lee Asher’s brilliant “Deuce Bag.”
The trick, besides having a brilliant name, is a knockout.
Here is it’s description direct from Lee’s lecture notes “Thinking Out Loud: Mental Noise From Lee Asher.”
“A card is selected and placed back I the pack by the spectator. A zip-lock bag is removed from your pocket. Inside the zip-lock is a wild card. The whole bag and wild card are placed in the spectator’s hand. A moment of magic occurs and the wild card transforms into their selection between their palms.”
I have been performing this trick for many years, and used it frequently when I was doing walk around/restaurant magic. My routine was simply that this was the most dangerous trick in the world. That the card in the bag was made out of a compound found on the moon and that it was very volatile and could explode any minute. I then place it on the spectator’s hand and wave the deck, with the chosen card in it, under the spectator’s hands. I ask, “Did you feel a tingling feeling?” If they say yes I act all scared and recommend they get the hand checked out before it falls off. Then I tell them, ever so slowly, to turn their hand around and voila, the chosen card is inside the bag.
I play it up for laughs. Of course the card isn’t dangerous, no, their hand is not going to fall off, but it plays very well. The only drawback I could find was that I had not scripted it. I just thought up the words one day and out they came.
So, you may be asking, if you’ve got the words already why script?
The answer is because when you script you think about what you are doing. I mean, really think.
When I sat down last week to put my version of “Deuce Bag” onto paper, I had to think very hard about why I was saying what I was saying, why I was doing what I was doing and where I should do what I must do.
I discovered that even though the trick had played strong in the past, it really didn’t have any build up. If I started small then built to a climax the trick would be much funnier and, more importantly, more amazing.
Also, I realized that the tricky part where the “magic” happens was being done in the wrong place. I had to distance myself from the tricky move and the actual reveal at the end. Something I probably would never think about if I hadn’t decided to script the routine as opposed to just playing it by ear.
So, how will the new routine work? I’m not sure and will never be sure until I perform it, but I know that the original routine worked so I can easily determine that the new routine will be just as good if not better.
Let’s put it this way. Scripting makes you THINK about your magic, that makes your magic better, better magic equals better response and a better response means more and better work for the magician.
With that in mind, how could you not decide to script?

I will post more on scripting in later posts.

Next Post: The Invisible Deck. Why can I see it?

Mail Bag #1.

2005-10-22T17:14:00.000-04:00

I was going to post about scripting your magic, but a reply to my post titled “Bad news for magic beginners” (In which I told you that when you begin you will suck) prompted me to write the following.
But first, the reply:
Anonymous said, “You will NOT suck.Card tricks are very easy to learn.Check out card-trick.net to learn free easy magic card tricks using a normal deck of cards. The tricks are not hard to learn, explained with photos and videos.http://www.card-trick.net/”

OK, first of all yes you will suck. In the beginning of magic you will not know anything or be able to do anything well, therefore you will suck. QED.
Apparently our anonymous (if that is his real name) was the rare type of person who, after picking up a deck of cards for the first time and learned his first card trick was able to perform it perfectly right off the top. No worries about mis-direction, sight lines or presentation for him. The rest of us had to sludge through our first tricks and learn these technical aspects through trial and error, but not so Mr. Anonymous.
I imagine he was able to pick up a guitar for the first time and, instead of learning notes and chords and 4/4 time, instantly put Jimmy Hendrix to shame.
I can only imagine the breakthroughs that Mr. Anonymous could have if he took up medicine. No learning beginners science for him, nope, expect a cure for cancer or AIDS right away.
Nope, Anonymous didn’t suck right away. He was a world-class magician right off the top, which doesn’t explain why he didn’t leave his real name. If I were able to be that good that quick I would proclaim it to the world and go out and win me some awards.

Secondly, card tricks are not easy to learn. It doesn’t matter if your first card trick needs a card on the bottom of the pack turned over, or noted, or given a little bend the fact of the matter is that there is so much that goes into even the most beginner tricks.
Misdirection, the ability to make someone look at one hand while the other is doing the tricky work.
Sight lines, making sure you don’t give away the turned over bottom card to that person who is sitting down while entertaining someone who is standing up. (I learned this lesson the hard way.)
Audience management. How do you grab their attention then keep it, and I mean all of your audience, not just the pretty girl you want to impress?
Performance. How do you present the trick? Is it a gambling demonstration? Is it a mind reading demonstration? Well, your first trick will go something like this, “Ok, pick a card, remember it, put it back into the deck. I am going to shuffle the deck. Now watch as I wave my hand and you can see you card is at the top of the deck. Now watch as I put it back into the center of the deck and …..” In other words you will more likely describe what is going on rather than actually have a presentation.
These four subjects, and the many more that I haven’t mentioned, need to be taken into account for even the most basic beginners trick. Of course you are not going to know this right away, but you will learn.
Again, our anonymous friend apparently never had to take this into account. He was Jamy Ian Swiss caliber right off the mark. (Jamy Ian Swiss is one of the world’s best magicians and theoretical thinkers on magic. More on him in another post.)

Lastly, let’s take a look at the web site anonymous recommended. http://www.card-trick.net/ .
I quote “Allways (sic) wanted to amaze your friends with magic card tricks? Here you can learn some of the best tricks: it's EASY and it's totally FREE!”
Ok, first of all, a spelling mistake. Apparently Mr. Anonymous has found something he isn’t so good at. Secondly, the part about it being “EASY and it’s totally FREE!” (Caps and bold his) I have already put that whole “card tricks are easy” bit to rest, but just an example let’s check out the Three Card Monte part. Oh look, a video showing the first phase of a Three Card Monte. Look how fast his hands move. Are you telling me that this is easy? The HELL it is!
The Three Card Monte is one of the most difficult magic tricks to master. Some of the top magicians have studied it for years before daring to present it. But hey, at card-trick.net it’s easy. Man, I bet those other magicians feel the right ass round about now.
As for the "totally FREE" part. Well, he's right, it is free except for the parts that are not. It's not a lie, it's an omission. Hell, we bought it when Former President Clinton said it, so it must be true.
But there is more, I refer you to “Find the chosen card.” Here are a few fun phrases that are used. “People want to be conned anyway”, and “You ask the VICTIM to pick any card out of the deck (emphasis mine)”, in fact the writer uses the word “Victim” SIX times.
So apparently magic is easy, you will instantly be great right off the top, spelling doesn’t count and it’s ok to refer to your volunteer as a victim.
Dear Mr. Anonymous. You are an idiot. Please, for the love of all that is holy, stop doing magic and take up some other “easy” hobby, like brain surgery or nuclear physics.
Meanwhile, I will go back to practising my pass. It’s been about a year and a half and I think I may be close to getting ok with it.

I Love A Challenge!

2005-10-20T11:44:00.000-04:00

On October 19, 2005, The Bill Pages posted the following Blog.
“Abra Cadabra, Baby
I don't know about you, but I can't wait to hear what Gord has to say about this.My guess is it won't be this girl.”

Right, a challenge. I can’t ignore this, even if I wanted to.
So, what do I think about this? Well, to tell the truth, I think it’s a joke.
This is not the first time Copperfield has claimed that he will magically impregnate a woman on stage, and it probably won’t be the last. The fact is that the whole trick would probably be boring as hell.
“Look, here is a test tube filled with semen. Now watch as I wave this hanky over it and, look, it’s gone! But where is it? Well maam, it’s in your ovaries and you are now pregnant. Wait, don’t believe me? Well here is a sonogram machine, let’s just take five or ten minutes to prove you are pregnant!”
Nope, can’t work. So it’s a joke, something to get his name in the papers. Some may say it’s desperate, I think it’s funny. Funny because now, all over the world, magical hacks are trying to figure out how to steal this trick.
That’ll show ‘em!
Next post: Unless there are any other challenges, I think I’ll talk about scripting. Like how to script a trick on magically making a woman pregnant and make it good.

Good News For Magic Beginners

2005-10-16T16:16:00.000-04:00

In my last post I told you that when you start in magic you will suck. At the end of that post I promised that there is good news, and here it is.

I am sure after my last post you probably thought I was a bit mean, but I’m afraid I was just telling you what I wish someone had told me. When you begin you will suck. Not exactly ego boosting but it needs to be said.
Fortunately there is some good news.
You are not going to suck forever.
In fact, eventually you will get good, possibly very good. How good is up to you. If you take the time to practice you can become one of the top magicians in the world.
Unfortunately this will take some time.
A lot of time.
I mean years.
When I say years I mean years and years and years.
How many years? Well, some of the top magicians in the world believe that they may never perfect their craft. That it is a constant learning process that will only end when they die.
But for the sake of this post, let’s just leave it at “Years and years.” That’s daily practice.

But how will you know when you pass out of the part about sucking and become good?
Good question, and I cannot give you a decent answer. All I can say is, you’ll know.
You see, one day, after some years of practice and bad to sub-bad performances something will go “click” in your head and suddenly, almost like magic, you’ll be good.
Yes, just like that.
Here is a few quotes from Penn & Teller from Genii Magazine, Vol. 58, No. 7, May 1995.

“… What I believe strongly about show business is that talent and hard work don’t matter nearly as much as flight time. The amount of time that you’re in front of the audience doing some thing is really all that matters. By all reports, George Burns sucked for the first thirty years of his career. But he kept plugging at it, and all of a sudden he knows stuff. … And with Eddie Fechter, it was one of the clearest cases I’d ever seen. I didn’t think that he’d ever been inspired to do the brilliant art he was doing. All of a sudden, just around the time he turned fifty, he was just kind of doing it.”

So you see, the hard work will one day pay off. One day, and you may not notice this, you will get it right. It may not take thirty years, but it will take time, and practice and patience. You may want to take some short cuts, but please don’t. You will be doing yourself and this art we love so much a grave disservice.
Do it right, do it well and at the end you will be rewarded.

Here ends the lesson.

Next Post: When they put one of your men in the hospital, you put one of theirs in the morgue! NOW here ends the lesson.

Bad News For Magic Beginners

2005-10-14T13:09:00.000-04:00

There you are, at the start of an exciting journey. You have your first magic set, or magic book or video and you are learning your first tricks. Congratulations, you are starting along a path filled with discovery and wonder.
Unfortunately, I have some bad news for you. Please do not take it personally since I don’t know you, but I have been where you are now and I have the need to let you know something that I was never told. I apologize in advance for being so blunt, but I have to be. I’m sure you will understand in time.

Dear beginner in magic.
You are going to suck!
There, I said it. It’s out there and I cannot take it back.
You are going to suck.

I tell you this so that you may avoid the pitfalls and problems that I and a majority of other magicians have faced in our careers. You see, when you start out, you really don’t know anything about magic or performance. I know that the first magic tricks you learn will fill you with excitement that you desperately want to show someone, anyone. I know because I was there also. The first real magic trick I learned with the disappearing hanky and I showed it to my good friend Bill. I thought he would see what I was doing; he didn’t and was somewhat impressed. I thought “Hey, that went great! Now I can show EVERYONE!”
Oh yes, that false sense of confidence. You’ll feel it too, and you will probably act on it, showing everyone and their brother those first few tricks before you are ready to show them. People will be polite. They will say you are good, but your not. You suck!

You see, magic, much like other arts or even trades, requires dedication, practice, study and time. You cannot read a card trick, learn it, practice it and perform it within a five-minute period and expect it to be any good. But you will, we all did it so don’t feel bad.

There are so many problems associated with starting out in something, but there is a problem unique in magic. That problem is, “Where can I go to get good?”
You see, comediennes have a place to be bad. An open mike night at a local comedy club. You get about five minutes to try out your first pieces of material in front of a forgiving audience. If you bomb well, you are supposed to bomb those first few times; it’s part of the learning process. Also, some comedy clubs offer lectures for new timers on how to write material, how to present it and the business of comedy.
What about musicians? Most musicians learn in a class type setting, as either part of a school band on in private lessons with a teacher. In those cases, you have a person or persons available to tell you when you suck, why you suck and how to stop sucking. They can also track your progress so that they can tell you when you stopped sucking.
Even skilled trades have a learning plan in place. In the mid 90’s I was an apprentice electrician. My job was to do the crappy jobs and learn from a licensed electrician. Over time I would be given small jobs that were aimed at teaching me something. Over time, and with guidance I was supposed to stop sucking and learn about how to be an electrician. It would take years of study, but in the end I would no longer suck and would be a full-fledged electrician.

Unfortunately magic seems to no longer have a mentor/student mindset of days past. As well, these days many of us learn on our own through books, magazines and video’s meaning there is no teacher to help with the learning process. As well, there is no place for us to publicly suck, like at a comedy club. Many of us will start performing magic for kids birthdays, which will turn out bad. You will suck, the show will suck, and the parent who booked you will think all magicians suck and never hire one again. Don’t feel that bad, though, we all did it. We all felt bad after and we all vowed to get better as fast as possible.

So yes, when you begin magic you will suck and suck bad, but there is light at the end of the tunnel, which I will address in my next post.

Next Post: Sorry, no light. I lied, my bad. Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.

So, What Do You Think About ... Part 1. Chris Angel.

2005-10-10T16:21:00.000-04:00

I don't know if this happens in other performing arts, but whenever a magician let out the fact that he is a magician, be it at a restaurant, party or work place, those around him want his opinion of the latest magic wonder boy. For years it was David Copperfield because, let's face it, for a long time Copperfield was the only show in town. Yearly specials followed by around the world tours, he was the big guy without challengers for a long time.
These days two other names enter the conversation. David Blaine and Chris Angel.
While I will attack the David Blaine phenomena at a later time, I think this is a good time to take a look at Chris Angel from an insiders perspective.

Chris Angel is a relatively new name in the magic firmament. In the last five years he has performed over six hundred shows in New York, had three international TV specials and now the first magic television series in forty years. He is, right now, about as big as any magician in recent memory has gotten, and he did it with a unique vision and performance style that few try and even fewer master.
Chris Angel can easily be called a "Goth Magician", but the words "Cyperpunk" and "Really Weird" can be used as well. His show on the A&E channel are misleading, his style is less street magician as it is gothic horror. If you only see the television show you should pay attention to the vignettes that take place in the desert, these small scenes give a glimpse into the real Chris Angel style.
As an example take a look at the picture to the right. Dark, Goth, spooky, punk, almost medieval. This was the Chris Angel look.
I have to admit, I have a great respect for Angel. He has done things his way. He has had a vision and dammit if he didn't follow through. Any magician who has been around for a certain amount of years knows someone who would yell loudly about THEIR plan for the future of magic, (A guy who went by the moniker "EVM" on alt.magic a few years back springs to mind) but Angel didn't just talk, he did it. That is why I respect him. (And don't give a rats ass about "EVM".)
Unfortunately, I don't like this kind of magic. Yes, it has a certain amount of wonder to it, but it just isn't my cup of tea. So respect, yes, but enjoyment, no.

This brings us to the Chris Angel show "Mindfreak" on the A&E network. A lot of people don't know this but this program is the first American magic series in 40 years. So some props to Angel for that. Unfortunately, it seems Angel had to give up what made him unique to make this show. The first episode I watched contained a lot of street magic and a bizarre and scary stunt at the end, which prompted me to say, "Man, it didn't take long for him to go Blaine on us."
Of course, like most knee jerk reactions it was very wrong. Chris Angel didn't turn Blaine, he took what Blaine did and then pumped it up a few thousand knotches to such extremes that Blaine's next stunt is going to have to include a field trip through the gates of hell just to catch up.
Of course, to get the show Angel was probably told by A&E that it had to have street magic. Fair enough. So Angel takes street magic and blows it up (along with himself) making it that much more difficult for anyone following him to even come close.
I'm sorry, I'm gushing.
There is one other thing I think is important here. Angel claims that most of what he does in the show can be done on stage if he decided to tour. Again, this is something that Blaine or even the group from T.H.E.M. (Totally Hidden Extreme Magic) can claim.
Unfortunately there is one thing that Angel has that makes the rest of us look very bad. Have you seen him with his shirt off? (Left) Man oh man, now those of us who are a bit chubby (which is a lot of other magicians) have something else we have to work on. After watching Angel and his buff body, who in their right mind would want some chubby guy with sponge balls come up to their table? DAMN YOU ANGEL!!!!!!

In the end, I still respect Angel. He's still doing things his way, and becoming quite the success doing it. Good for him and in the end, good for magic.

Next post: I've just come back from the gym and can't move my arms. DAMN YOU CHRIS ANGEL!!!!!!

I Just Want To Clear The Air A Bit Here!

2005-10-06T08:44:00.000-04:00

     It has been pointed out to me that I did, at one time, say “DAVID BLAINE SUCKS!”  It has also been pointed out that I said that David Blaine “… is a hack, disgraces "real" magicians, etc.”
     Now, first of all yes I said the former, but I did not say he was a hack etc.
     Don’t believe me?  Re-check the post.  There it is in big white letters.  Three words, “DAVID BLAINE SUCKS!”
     I am capable of saying what I want to say without people (Tom!) putting words in my mouth.  It turns out I was going to to a bit of an opinion piece on Blaine later this week but now I’m holding back because I don’t want to be mis-quoted again!  (TOM!)

     And, I cannot stress this enough, the part aboout him sucking WAS A JOKE!  I even said right before that it was a JOKE!
     But it brings up a problem that is vexing me.  Can I, in good conscience, say bad things about other magicians?  Especially successful, world class magicians who I think are vastly overrated.
     I have an example.  There is an illusion duo who are working professionals, have toured the world, are highly respected in their field and who suck big time,  They are terrible.  I mean when I see them perform all I can think is “You left a career ar Kinko’s for this?”
     It’s not just that they are terrible performers.  It’s not just that they look like they need to rehearse a lot … A LOT.  It’s that whenever one of them writes something for the magic journals it’s always some sort of deep phylisophical piece about art and magic and the art of magic.  They lay on the deepness of their souls for this art form, but then I see them perform and it’s bloody obvious that they haven’t read their own articles.
     Here is an example.  One of them wrote an article on using humor in an act.  He had a big example and described how he came up with this wonderful joke.  And yes, I’ll admit it was funny on paper, but then I saw the act live.  There are now two good reasons that this man should never talk about humor again.  1:  His big joke, was his only joke.  And 2:  HE SCREWED IT UP!
     Seriously, these people are well reguarded in magic circles.  I don’t get it.
     So, what is a boy to do?  Do I out them?  Do I say “Yes well the Hocuspocus’s are terrible!”  And if I don’t does that mean I can’t bash Blaine either?  Or is Blaine a more open target because of his fame?
     Then there is the important question “Do I have a right to criticize since I am not a professional myself?  Do I have to walk a few miles in their shoes before I am allowed to express a negative opinion like this?”
     I am dealing with eternal questions here!

     And if you are wondering who I am talking about go to http://www.cabbages-kings.blogspot.com/ That damn Tom will probably blab it.
     This post is brought to you by Chris Angel, who really sucks! ……. Crap!

"Bernie's Show" Post Mortem. (Part 3.)

2005-10-03T19:05:00.000-04:00

Finishing the post mortem of my act at the “Bernie’s Day” magic show at the Browsers Den of Magic on Sunday September 25th.

     The deck of cards is cut into three or four piles and then I mix them up into a big mess.  While doing this I chant “Mixie, mixie, mixie.”  I decided to do this because I don’t like large gaps of nothing being said, it makes me uncomfortable, so I say this.  It also re-enforces the fact that I am, indeed, mixing the cards.
     Lesson Thirteen:  Silence is boring.

     Now I’m not going to go into detail about how the trick works.  If you have been into magic long enough then odds are you already have this effect in an old book you don’t look at any more.  I will say this, I take a paper from the young lady, and I say “You do that well” while holding the un-folded paper open for a brief shiny moment.  This eliminates the possibility of there being a gimmick in the newspaper itself.  I do this all three times I take a paper.
     Lesson Fourteen:  Eliminate the possibilities before they become possibilities.

     The cards are mixed, the paper is covering the cards so I can’t possibly see which card is where, and the paper has been showed to be un-gimmicked.  I now take the knife, tell the audience that I will stab blindly and hopefully stab one of the chosen cards, and make another funny noise.  Do you remember the noise “The Six Million Dollar Man” made when he ran?  I do that as I hold and move the knife over the paper.  Again, I hate times where there is no noise.  Fortunately this time it always gets a laugh.  Then I stab, hard, into the corkboard on the table and rip the paper from around the knife.
     I say to the first person who selected a card, “What was the name of the card you selected?”  And he replies.  I then lift up the knife that is through the card, and ask the young lady holding the papers what card I stabbed. (I do this so it doesn’t look like she was brought up just to hold papers.  It keeps her interested.)  She replies, the cards match, and there is much rejoicing.
     Lesson Fifteen:  Keep your helpers interested.

     I repeat the procedure two more times.  The third time I hit the wrong card.  I try to bluff my way out of it but to no avail.  Finally I ask what the third helper’s card was?  Oh look, there are two cards together here, if I take off the top card then that leaves us with … your card!  (Yeah!)
     Unfortunately this time I affixed the two cards together a different way than before.  Instead of affixing them in the centre I did it on two corners, which meant when I picked up the knife with the two cards it looked like two cards, as opposed to one card like it was supped to look like.  Of course the kids on the floor noticed this and kept yelling it out the whole time I was trying to act as if there was only one card.
     Lesson Sixteen:  If it works, don’t change a thing!

     The last card is revealed, the helpers are thanked, and there is applause.  Jeff comes out and thanks me.  I take my bows and remove my things from the stage area so that the next act can go on.
     Those first moments after your act is over are nice.  People are applauding; the other acts are shaking your hand and saying nice things.  You take a deep breath and thank God you didn’t knife your hand.  (It happened to a guy I know.  Really, it did, during a show at an engagement party.  Apparently there was blood everywhere.)
     After all the acts are done you come out with everyone and take another bow.  Because it’s a show in a magic shop after people can come up to you.  They all say nice things.  A couple of times some kids ask what books they should read to start in magic.  I am aghast that kids still read books and offer a few good choices.
     Finally, the audience has left.  You still hear applause and good wishes in your head.  It can make your ego rise.  I try not to think too much about the show at this point because I am too close to it.  I’ll take a few days, think about it in detail and do a “Post Mortem”  (In this case online) This is important because it helps you focus on area’s you need help.
     In my case I need help with silences.  Because no one is talking doesn’t make it bad.  Also those pesky names.  Yes, I got three out of four, but I should have remembered them all.

     This Post Mortem was for me.  Even though I hope you learned a few things about how to take apart your show and examine the flaws in it.  Also, do not forget to think about the applause and the gasp of surprise.  They are good noises and they mean you are doing something right.
     Lesson Seventeen:  Do not short change yourself.

     Next Post:  I think I can now perform a post mortem on a real body.  Sam, get me those medical type instruments STAT!!!!!

"Bernie's Show" Post Mortem. (Part 2.)

2005-09-29T17:13:00.000-04:00

Continuing the post mortem of my act at the “Bernie’s Day” magic show at the Browsers Den of Magic on Sunday September 25th.

Now I begin an effect I am particularly proud of. My version of the classic “Card Stab” that I call “Cardus Stabbicus.” (For no better reason than I can.) First, an introduction. I begin by telling the audience they are in for a treat, “for today I am doing … a card trick.” This sentence begins normal, but I raise my voice slightly to try and impart that what I am about to do is important and special, then I say “… a card trick.” Which is intended as a bit of a let down. Am I explaining this right? I build up to something important then it turns out to be a lousy card trick. This got a good laugh.
Lesson six: A false build up is always good for a laugh.

I then say “But this isn’t any old card trick, this is a card trick that uses THIS!” At the word “This” I show a knife then quickly shove it, point down, into the corkboard with a nice thud. It is here where I would normally go “Everybody say Ooooooooo” but I didn’t need to, the audience went “Ooooooo” all by themselves.
Lesson seven: Sometimes the audience doesn’t need to be told what to do.

I need volunteers, four of them to be exact. Three to pick cards and one to hold papers. I start with card selection. This was a bit rough because most of the parents were standing at the rear of the crowd and in front of me were children, I would hazard a guess that the average age was in the twelve to thirteen area. Old enough to recognize and remember a card, young enough to try something bad. I had to choose carefully. First, a boy. To my left there was a group of boys, one of which was just a tad too hyper for his own good. Sometimes it’s a good idea to avoid children like this because they tend to want either attention or to ruin your trick or both. I chose a boy sitting next to him who looked interested and was relatively well behaved. Also, he was close enough to the hyper kid so he could still be involved, just not the center of attention.
Lesson eight: Boys are hard to read.

Next, a girl. A young lady in the middle did nicely and she was as sweet as all get out. No problems with her at all. Finally I went to one of the few adults within reach. A nice man who was sitting to my right, on the floor, with his young (4 or 5ish) son in his lap. I asked him to pick a card and he whispered, “let him” while motioning to his son. What to do? The boy was definitely too young to recognize and remember a card, so I made a deal. I said to the man “Well, why don’t you both do it?” That worked. The man took the card, noted it and handed it to his son. Everyone was happy.
Lesson Nine: Sometimes the mid ground can be just as good.

Let me take a step back here. I have three cards selected by three different people, but in reality you cannot trust people too much. All you need is one person bent on making you look bad to … well, make you look bad, so whenever a card is selected I tell the helper “Don’t forget to show it to your friends and family around you.” And they show their card around. That way, they are less likely to try and mis-name the card and if they do there are witnesses to correct them.
Lesson Ten: Expect some people to be sneaky and underhanded.

Now here comes a problem of mine. I cannot, for the life of me, remember names. It’s a curse I have suffered with for all of my life. I have lived next door to the same people for four years. I’ve had countless conversations with them. They told me their names years ago and I cannot remember them, and so much time has passed that if I were to ask they would probably think I was some kind of idiot. So when I am doing a show, and I have helpers, I make sure to concentrate really hard. They say their name; I repeat it back to them at least three times in the course of selecting, noting and returning a card. It seems to work, this show I only forgot one name out of four. I’m batting .750.
Lesson eleven: Buy a Harry Lorayne book and use it!!!

Now the fourth volunteer. At this point I use a female because I have some lines about how well she is dressed. I then show her how to stand, and place the papers I am going to use in her outstretched hands saying “I need you to hold these papers just like this and every time I have to use one I will stick a quarter up your nose and take one.” This line is intended to relax the helper. Once she laughs, she is going to be ok and will be more likely to laugh in the future. A bit of psychology here but if a helper on stage is laughing the more likely the audience is to laugh with her. I don’t know why this works, but it does.
Lesson Twelve: A relaxed helper is a better helper.

I don’t mean to keep drawing this out like this. I thought this would be a two-part blog entry but I need more room. Just one more entry after this one, I promise.

Nest post: The knife goes through the card, not your hand.

"Bernie's Show" Post Mortem. (Part 1)

2005-09-26T21:54:00.000-04:00

I thought it might be a good time to go over my performance on Sunday the 25th during "Bernie's Day" at The Browsers Den of Magic.

The first thing I will note that, even though I did not see the first two acts, I heard the audience response. Going by the first two sets the performers were a hit. The audience laughed, they gasped and they applauded. It is a lot easier to come out and entertain a crowd when they've been warmed up for you.
Lesson one: Follow good acts. A lesson I learned in high school drama during monologue day.

Secondly, my introduction. This was done by the owner of The Browsers Den, Jeff Pinskey. He's a nice guy who isn't really much of a performer. Before I went on he asked how I would like to be introduced and I said "No big thing, really. Just say the magic of Gord. Nothing special."
God bless Jeff, but he introduced me as coming from the far off land of Africa and introduced me as "Dr. Gord Gardiner."
Lesson two: Always come with a prepared introduction written on 4x5 cards.

Now it was my turn to shine. I have to admit I wasn't as prepared as I should have been. I didn't learn my complete script, which could have been bad. Also, I have this habit of second guessing myself RIGHT before I go on stage. I was worried. Worried about the script, worried about having the right cards in the right place and worried about somehow giving the secrets away. These worries could easily have been handled by rehearsal, which I didn't do enough of.
Lesson three: Rehearse, study and rehearse.

For my first bit I had to borrow a bill. That was no problem, in a situation like this there is always someone willing to give up a bill. I told the audience that "Thanks to the good officers of the Peel Regional Police Force, I had to do a public service announcement." This garnered a laugh. I borrowed the bill, showed the full audience that this person (a kid actually) loaned me his five dollar bill, then pocketed it. It was an old joke, one I've always enjoyed but rarely get to do. There is a difference in doing that to an audience of fifty and doing it at someone's restaurant table.
Lesson four: Sometimes the old jokes work.

I asked the young man who loaned my the five if he knew how to tell if a bill is counterfeit. He said he didn't so I went through a few facts. Like watermarks (each bill has random blue/green dots called "watermarks." funnily enough this bill had none that I could see, so I pointed to a smudge on the bill and asked a kid in the front row if he saw it. He said he did. Magicians rule!) I then told them that the paper that the bill is made of contain small threads. I rolled the bill into a cone and slowly pulled out a "thread" and asked if anyone could see it. Then I pulled it a bit further and it turned out to be a multi-colored silk streamer.
the audience reacted with a gasp. No bull here, they gasped when I pulled that silk streamer out of that bill. That felt good and filled me with confidence.
I then unrolled the bill, casually showed it empty, then handed it back to the kid who loaned it to me telling him that "Your bill is now counterfeit."
Lesson five: Making the audience gasp is a very good thing and bodes well for the rest of the act. Hope you can keep it up!

End of part one.

Next post: Lesson seven, do not ask for help from "The woman who is obviously breast feeding!"

So, How Did The Show Go?

2005-09-25T18:08:00.000-04:00

Well, it's over. The big show at the Browsers Den is over and the results are in.

For those who are just joining us, perhaps a bit of explaining is in order.
A few weeks ago I was invited to perform at the Browsers Den of Magic during it's annual "Bernie Day." Bernie is a magician and magic demonstrator who runs magic booths at fairs and other events. He had a booth at the annual Canadian National Exhibition and, through some sort of mailing list, sent out invitations to come to the Browsers Den today, September 25 starting at 11:00am.
The magic show was set to start at 1:00 pm. I was one of five performers, each one unique and different from each other. That was my first surprise. Usually when you get five magicians together at least three will do the same type of magic if not the exact same tricks.
Here are the performers:

1: Jahal & Heather. I didn't see their performance but they were dressed as Gypsy's and the audience reacted strongly to them.

2: Brian Hircock. Again, I didn't see him perform but he did a kind of manipulation style of magic. He was also well received.

3: Me. I did my card stab and a brief bit where I pulled a long streamer from a borrowed bill. I was also received well. (Hell, why be modest? I killed.)

4: Marc Linett. He was the mentalist of the afternoon. I have noticed that, as far as mentalism is concerned, you either are good or you aren't. There is no in between. Marc was good, very good. He was also very considerate of his volunteers feelings, which is something we all can work on.

5: Gordon Precious. He is the grand old man of the Toronto magic scene. He mentioned during his act that he has been performing for seventy five years, and it shows. First of all he was the definition of class, he was entertaining and he brought effects we all had written off as lame and brought them to life. That , my friends, is what a lifetime of experience can bring you.

The audience was a good mixture of adults and children, boys and girls. They came for a show and were very appreciative. There was a young boy in a blue shirt who was a bit too hyper for his own good, but other than that everyone was playing good.

Ok, yes, this is all well and good but this isn't a blog about mentalists and hyper children. This is a blog about Gord, so answer the question, how did Gord do?
The only answer I can really give that isn't biased is to say I did very well. Many people came to me after the show and told me how good they thought I was. Jeff, the owner of The Browsers Den told me I was a great performer. Marc asked me where I perform. I said I didn't because of work and he said "You should perform, you were very good."
So yes, apparently I did good. I certainly felt good about my show, much better than the show I did on Aug. 27th.
the truth is, It made me feel that I was doing the right thing in trying to do this show, and that I would be able to hold up a full show. And that's good.

Um, yeah, not a lot of jokes in this one was there. Ok, how's this?

DAVID BLAINE SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!

Next Post: David Blaine says I suck. I say "Oh yeah." He says "Yeah." No one said we had to be mature about this.

What's In A Name? (Part 2)

2005-09-24T21:59:00.000-04:00

In our last episode, young magician Gord searches for a good stage name. Beginning with "The Amazing Gord" he changes to "Mr. Magic" thanks to a forgetful Santa impersonator. After discovering that "Mr. Magic" may not be the best name our hero searches the inner reaches of his soul to find the perfect name, and in the end he comes up with .......

When I discovered the problem with being called "Mr. Magic" I decided the time had come to actually think about the type of name I should use. The first thing I did was examine the types of magic jobs (Or "gig's" as we say in the business) I was getting. At this time I was doing primarily kid shows. (Birthdays, Picnics and holiday parties) Using this as a starting point I decided on three criteria I would use.
1: The name had to be fun.
2: The name had to be magical.
3: The name had to appear at the very top of the yellow pages category "Magicians."

Taking number three into account I knew the name had to start with the letter "A". It is a documented fact that when looking for something in the Yellow Pages people always start at the first entry and work their way down. This, in turn, turns into a nasty fight between companies to see who can out "A" each other. This is why under the title "Plumbing" you might find a listing "Aaaaaaaaaa Plumbing & Son's." Why this, because "Aaaaaaaaa Plumbing & Son's" has one more "A" than "Aaaaaaaaa Plumbing King" and therefore gets that all important first phone call.
Thinking about number two I settled on using a known magic word as part of the name. "Pocus", "Abracadbra" and "All hail Satan" were written down, along with a few others, and I played around with each name, trying to figure out what I could put in front of each one to make it sound fun and sit at the top of the Yellow Pages category.
Let's see; "The Amazing Pocus", "artful Hocus", "Abilities above that of mortal man, All Hail Satan".
"The Amazing Abracadabra!"
"Holy crap, that last one was pretty good," I thought just a bit too late. ("Abilities above that of mortal men, All hail Satan" somehow worked against me. Go figure.)
And so I because "The Amazing Abracadbra", although I lost eh "The" in the Yellow Pages Ad. And it worked, I started getting calls on my newly christened office phone and took business away from "The Amazing Wij."
Of course there were drawbacks. First of all those who knew me as "Mr. Magic" at the Tea House didn't know I had changed my name or had a new phone number, fortunately the old phone number was my apartment number so they could still get in touch with me that way, so it wasn't much of a drawback. .... I like wasting space with stories that go nowhere.

There was a kid one year at the English pavilion during Carabram who noticed my name change and pointed out, quite snippy, that it was my third name in as many years. I told him I was really a set of triplets. He didn't buy it for some reason.
And so I was "The Amazing Abracadabra" and stayed that way for many years, except for the times I worked the Tea House, Mr' Gibson really stuck with that "Mr. Magic" thing for far too long. Even when I had actually got him to acknowledge my name change he put me down as "Mr. Abracadabra.
(Just as a short aside, the Gibsons just won the City of Brampton's Persons of the Year award. I guess torturing a magician doesn't count against people anymore.)

Then came Phillip.
The first thing I had against Philip is that he phoned my office at 11:30pm. I don't care who you THINK you are, 11:30pm is far too late to be calling pretty much anyone. (I understand that President Bush has the same rule.)
The second thing I didn't like about him was his tone. He acted superior in much the same was a used car salesman acts superior when he's selling you a piece of junk.
He wanted to hire me to teach a short class of magic to some kids in an after school program and was willing to pay .... real money.
So one day I drove twenty minutes, got lost, got found and ended up in some private school. My first warning that this day was going to suck was the fact that these kids were, how you say, special. No, not that kind of special, ADD kind of special. I basically spent the half an hour trying to keep the kids seated.
The second warning was the fact that Phillip was actually there as well. I had no idea why I was here if Phillip was just standing in the corner watching. I thought maybe this was some perverted turn on for him, you know, guy gets off on watching some magician loosing control of a class of hyper privileged kids.
It turns out, as I would learn at another late night phone call, that Phillip was testing me. He said he needed someone to do strolling magic in a new high end downtown restaurant and he was impressed with what he saw. He then offered me the job. I accepted.
He then asked me what name I used. I said "The Amazing Abracadabra", to which he replied "Well we'll work on it."
I was to meet Philip a couple of days later to sign a contract, and I figured that I needed to change my name again. So I thought, and thought, and thought and thought. I knew I was interested in using my own name, that way people would actually know WHO was entertaining them, but I couldn't find a complimentary word I liked.
"The Amazing Gord", Nope, used that. "The Abundant Gord", I was big, but not that big. "Gord the Magician with abilities above those of Mortal men, all hail Satan!" Nope. Damn Judeo-Christian based Country.
Then, at a coffee shop about a thirty minute drive away from my apartment, just before I was to meet Phillip I was reading a magazines for family entertainers. The article was about a women named, and I am not making this up, "Betty Pocus." This got me thinking. What if, instead of putting something BEFORE the "Gord" part of my name I put something "BEHIND?"
Brilliant!
"Gord Pocus?" "Gord Hocus?" "Gord Abracadabra?" Wait, wait ... I have it "Gord Cadabra!"
Perfect! It worked, it was brilliant! All hail me!
Then Phillip said "That's ok, we'll work on it."
Did I not mention that Phillip was a bastard?

Beyond what Phillip said I became "Gord Cadabra." To piss him off I even got a name tag. I started work at Le Biftech in Toronto as "Gord Cadabra", went to East Side Mario's as "Gord Cadabra", returned to Le Biftech (This time their Mississauga location) then over to Philthy McNasty's in Oakville and to Shoeless Joe's in Georgetown, all as "Gord Cadabra."
I still used "Amazing Abracadabra" in the Yellow Pages, and these days I usually just introduce myself as Gord, but on my business card and my web site it's "Gord Cadabra."

I've been thinking of changing the name again. I'm getting away from kids shows and strolling magic. Perhaps I need a better name? But what name? I don't really know. Both my wife and my friend Bill like Gord Cadabra and, like I said, it is only used in print.
So maybe I'll just keep on using the name. If any changes come I'll let you know.

By the way: I will go into detail about Phillip and the many ways he screwed me in a later post.

Next Post: Why don't we all just get pudding?

What's In A Name? (Besides Letters!) (Part 1)

2005-09-18T00:29:00.000-04:00

I've been thinking a lot about names.
I have a name, you have a name, he has a name, she has a name. Wouldn't you like to be a pepper too?
My name is Gord. More precisely it's Gordon. Even more precisely it's Gordon Gardiner.
But I prefer Gord. Gord Gardiner. It's not the best name in the world. Whenever I have to call someone at their office and the receptionist asks who is calling, I have to admit I wish my name was something other than an alliterators nightmare.
Unfortunately it is also a lousy stage name.
So, while I am not a big fan of the back to back "g"'s in my name, I have to admit I do like the "Gord" part. Gord is not the kind of name you hear every day, and in the business of show anything that makes you stand out from the crowd is good. (So is fudge, by the way.)
So when I started performing magic, I chose the name "The Amazing Gord." About the only thing amazing about that name was how fast I stopped using it.
It wasn't actually my fault. I would probably still be using "The Amazing Gord" today if it wasn't for Mr. Gibson.
Alan Gibson was my next door neighbor when I lived with my parents. I've known him since I was three. He was the man who, when I was nine, asked if I wanted to be in the chorus of a Pantomime, thus starting a stage career unlike any other.
Mr. Gibson was always very supportive of my performance goals. Soon after I started magic he let me perform, busk if you will (busking is what they called street magic before that guy mumbled his way into our living rooms) next to the little tea house he and his wife, Sylvia, ran. As well he allowed me the opportunity to come to the tea house any day I wanted and perform close up magic for customers. The Cousy Tea House was the first place someone told me they didn't want to see a magic trick, and you never forget your first time.

Yes, yes, I'm getting to the part about the name.

One year the Gibsons decided to hold a breakfast with Santa in their little tea house. The idea was simple, they supply a nice breakfast, some fun and games, a magic show and then a visit with Santa. I provided the magic show part, Mr. Gibson was Santa.
Now, for some reason I remember Mr. Gibson asking me what my stage name was, and I know I answered "The Amazing Gord" Because that was what I was calling myself, but Mr. Gibson has this kind of swiss cheese memory where certain things stick and others do not.
Imagine my surprise when I arrived at the tea house only to find out that I was now "Mr. Magic."
Well ok, I thought, Mr. Magic is kind of a cool name. It certainly get's right to the point. I mean, if you hear "Mr. Magic" you have a good idea that this is a guy (The "Mr." part) doing magic. (That would be the "Magic" part.)
So fine, for two Christmas seasons I was Mr. Magic. If fact, the summer between the two I performed at the English pavilion at Carabram, Brampton's annual multi-cultural festival, also as Mr. Magic. So you can see that I was committed to it, and not just humoring some old guy who couldn't remember my name.
And then I found out some terrible, horrible things.
First of all, I was not the first "Mr. Magic." Actually, I discovered that the name was quite common among certain circles. Secondly, I discovered that the name did not evoke the thought of quality entertainment. In fact the name "Mr. Magic" is, in magic circles, used as a derogatory name to describe a lousy magician who performs half assed birthday parties for fifty bucks.
So, as quick as you can say "I'm not like that guy" I changed my name to .......

Next post: We continue the story but won't give too much away because if we do you won't keep coming back week after week. But I promise we'll reveal what is in the hatch, and hey, we blew Artz up. That was cool, right?

Something Blew My Mind Tonight, sugar Bear!

2005-09-16T14:48:00.000-04:00

I had an unusual experience the other night.
Well, unusual for a magician.
I blew my own mind. (Not literally)

Let me explain. No, it would take too long, let me sum up.

I have been working on a new trick. (A card trick, which contradicts my last post.) The basic effect is; A card is selected. The pack is fanned and the card is returned to the fan, sticking about half way out. The pack is squared and replaced to the card box, but sticking about half way out. (So the pack is sticking out of the box and the card is sticking out of the pack.)
I then push the card flush with the pack, count to three, wave my had in front of the pack and voila, only the selected card is sticking out.
This particular trick (Which, for those who care, is called "Jump up cards" and is by Stanley Palm. It is available in the Tarbell Book of magic Vol. 6, page 55.) had been a bit of a thorn in my side because while I enjoyed playing around with it, I just couldn't find a presentation I liked.
I had tried quite a few ways to present it. I let the pack drop so it looked like the selected card was slowly rising. I shook the pack, so it looked as though ... I don't know how it looked, I just didn't think it looked good.
Finally, just when I figured that yes, it was a good trick and all but it just wasn't magical, my lovely wife Jenifer said "Why don't you wave your hand in front of them?"
Hmmmmm, you know, that's just crazy enough that it just might work. So I took a random card, fanned the pack, replaced the card, put the deck in the case and pushed the card flush. Then I counted to three. At three I waved my hand infront of the pack, blocking movement of the pack so when I pulled my hand away only the chosen card was left.
"Hey," My wife said "That was really good."
"Really?"
"Yes, it looked good."
So I tried it on myself. I had a reflective surface across from me and I went through the motions. At the right time I counted to three, waved my hand infront of the pack and when I pulled my hand away a mere second later only the chosen card was left standing.
and I went "Whoa." (Copyright 2005. Keanu Reeves.)
Here is what I saw. The entire deck was protruding about half way out of the pack. I waved my hand, and suddenly the cards were gone and only the chosen card remained.
It blew my freakin mind!!!!!

I mentioned before that this was unusual for a magician. Let me explain. (No wait, it would take too long, let me ... Never mind.)
Magicians are used to magic. We are used to seeing it, we are used to the moves that are used. It is tough to show a magician a trick and have him not at least have an idea how it is done. In other words, magicians rarely experience magic.
On the odd occation it will happen. Just last week at my fave magic shop, The Browsers Den of Magic, the owner Jeff got me with a trick that involved two washers. So while rare, it can happen.
It is almost unheard of for a magician to get himself with a trick. After all, we are the one's that control the sneaky sleight of hand that causes the trick to happen so obviously we cannot fool ourselves.
But I did it! I got me! Damn if I didn't blow my mind.

The sad part is I'm still not sure about the trick, I guess I'll have to try it out on a few people first, but even if I never use it again I will always have that moment when I got myself.

Whoa!!

Next Post: I got myself again, but this time my wife wasn't happy about it!

It's about balance Grasshopper!

2005-09-11T17:56:00.000-04:00

When I began working on this show I started with a steno notebook, a blue pen and some ideas of what effects I wanted to perform. I began to research these effects and while searching through magic books and videos would come across other effects that I thought would be good to try out. Each one of these went into my notebook as a little notation of what the effect was and where I found it. That way I could go back to it later and play around with it.
Sometimes the effect was so interesting that I would play around with it right away so that whatever I was looking for would end up on the back burner for awhile. If I spent enough time playing with that effect I would work out a routine, which I would script in my notebook and eventually type out on my computer.
I was about two weeks into this process when I discovered something interesting. (Well, interesting to me.) Most of the effects I had were card tricks. Usually this wouldn't be a problem. When I was working in restaurants I couldn't have enough card tricks, but this was going to be a stage show so the rules were different.
While I know of some magicians who have presented whole shows with nothing but card tricks, I wasn't that type of guy. I wanted variety, not just to keep the audience entertained but to keep myself entertained. I can only imagine the groans coming from the audience when I say "And here is yet another card trick! Who hasn't picked a card yet?"
Variety is the spice of life, they say (I don't know who "they" are but we should find them and sacrifice them to our Gods) and to put together a decent magic show I needed to find balance. Balance between effects, balance between card tricks and other type of tricks.
So I made a list of effects I had worked on up to this point, this included any tricks or effects that I had ready BEFORE I decided to do this show. (This included a very good head chopper effect that always received a great response and a couple of other effects that I used in my kids show but could easily be used for an adult crowd.)
Here's what I found. Many card tricks, no rope tricks, no coin tricks, one mentalism effect and various other items already mentioned. In other words, the scale was tipping towards card tricks. Not good.
The problem is though that pretty much any magic book or video you turn too will be card trick heavy. Cards are plentiful, every house has at least one deck kicking around, so it's easy to go into practically any situation and do a few card effects. So the magic resources focus mostly on card tricks, which makes it that much harder to find non-card tricks.
And so I must find balance. I must dig deeper to find that which does not involve cards. I have decided that I will allow no more than three card tricks in my show, two spots of which I already have filled. I am still in the hunt for a suitable third card trick, which is why last night I was using the Exacto knife on some jokers (the cards, not wise guys) in an attempt to make a card jack-in-the-box.
My focus away from cards have yielded some good results as well. An older effect where coins travel from one cup to another is my current obsession and a rope effect is working out well. I should work a little faster than I have, though, after all October of 2006 (my un-official cut off date) is only 13 months away.

Next post: The fine art of burning money, or "I think that was the wrong envelope."

... Oh yes, about that hat ...

2005-09-09T20:43:00.000-04:00

Forgive me, I forgot about the hat.
Last post I said I was going to tell you about the show and the hat. The show you got, not so much the hat.
So here it is.
I got a new hat.
Why is this special?
Well, you see, this magical show I am aiming to do someday in the not so distant future is going to be titled "Magic, with the sleight-est hint of cheese." Notice the spelling of "sleight-est", it's clever that way.

Now just to clear things up I want to state for the record that "With the sleight-est hint of cheese" means cheesy, like a cheesy joke. It was something I said one night at a restaurant I was working at when I was doing a trick for two nice ladies and said something that popped into my mind. (I don't remember what I said, so let's just pretend it was freakin' brilliant.)
"You are so cheesy." One of the nice women said, and I replied "That's me, magic with the slightest hint of cheese." No really, It happened that way for real.
I thought it was a funny line and started using it, I even designed business cards with it. Then one day a friend in magic mentioned that maybe I should spell slightest "Sleight-est", as in sleight of hand. Voila! A classic is born.

Yes, I almost forgot about the hat again. Well, I figured, if I'm the cheesy magician I should have a cheesy hat. So a quick check on ebay for some of those cheesehead hats that are popular with a certain football team. (I think it's Green Bay, which doesn't make sense. Why would Green Bay fans wear orange cheese hats?)
And there it was, in all it's glory. Reasonably priced and stylish as well. I purchased it, and waited, and waited, and waited until finally it came yesterday. Man, I was excited, and the damn thing is beautiful.
But, you may ask, what is it man?? Stop tempting us you devil!
It is (drum roll please) a cheese top hat.
Yes, it is a bit of a let down, isn't it.
A cheese top hat for my cheesy show. It makes perfect sense. Now if only I could think up a trick with it. Maybe pulling a cheese rabbit from a cheese hat?

So there it is. My new hat. Oh yeah, do you have one?
Didn't think so. Bleah!!!!!!

Next Post: I find out I'm lactose intolerant and the cheese hat kills me. So there, Bleah!!!!!

I've got a gig and a new hat. (You've got a brand new key!)

2005-09-09T18:13:00.000-04:00

Sometimes things happen because you make them happen.
I discovered some time ago that when I spent time actually working at my magic I would get more gigs, but when I ignored magic and became lazy my phone wouldn't ring. I don't know why this happens but it does. Call it fate, skimmed, karma (Thank you carson Daly).
So I'm at the Browsers Den of Magic ( http://www.browsersden.com ), not doing much, just looking for a way to blow three hundred and fifty dollars, when the owner and my good friend Jeff asks my if I want to perform at an event he's hosting. "Just a short fifteen minutes is all we need" he says.

Now, I have to tell you, I have dreamed of performing at a Browsers Den event. For years Jeff would hold anniversary events that included short shows by prominent magicians and one of my all time goals was to become good enough to perform there.
One year I came close. Years ago Jeff once asked me "Did I ask you to perform at the anniversary party?"
I said "No" thinking this was leading up to something.
"Good," He said "I wasn't sure if I did." Then he walked away with a dejected Gord left to pick up his pride.
This time, though, it was a for sure. I've even got the email to prove it.

"If you could do say 15 minutes that would be great. Remember, these are 95% people who are brand new to the magic world. For most it will be there first time in the shop.
Remember, parking is free in the plaza on Sundays."

Did you get that? Parking is free on Sundays. Magic words indeed.

Of course, in the sake of being honest I did perform there once before, but it wasn't for a Browsers Den function. Many years ago I was involved in a magic summer camp called the Sorcerers Safari. It is a week long sleepaway camp that teaches magic to kids of all experience ranges. One year they asked Jeff if they could hold an open house at his store and he agreed. They asked me to perform, and I did, but it wasn't a Browsers Den function even though it was held at the Browsers Den.

So, later this month I am going to live the dream and perform a fifteen minute set at the Browsers Den of Magic, meanwhile, if dreams are really coming true, you will soon hear about my night of passion with Phoebe Cates.

Diggity-diggity!!

It's Time To Kiss Some Ass.

2005-09-06T16:24:00.000-04:00

So, the question is, why do a Stage/Parlor Magic Show?
The answer is, I dunno.
The thing is I didn't actually plan on doing this, I just blurted it out one day.
Let me explain, no, it takes too long, let me sum up.
For reasons that will be explained in a later post, I gave up on magic. I symbolically and literally put a pack of red bicycle cards on the table next to my couch and left them there for the better part of a year and a half, then one day I noticed they were still there and started playing around with them. Less than a week later I had producers and was planning a show.
It went like this. My good friends Todd & Tracy McGinnis, owners of Playing After Dark http://www.playingafterdark.com (Todd also has a Blog at http://playingafterdark1.blogspot.com// ) had just produced a play called "Thunderbolts and Dunderheads" and we (meaning them, my wife and I and Dave "enema Bag" Jones) went out for dinner. There was light conversation, nothing too earth shattering, then in the middle of all this I go "Hey Todd & Tracy, do you guy's want to produce my stage magic show?"
They said "Sure."
I went "Great."
Then I took a moment and wondered where the hell that came from.
You see, I wasn't thinking of doing a show. I wasn't thinking of anything really, but for some reason I blurted out this insane idea about doing a show and suddenly I had producers.
I hear that's how Andrew Loyd Webber started out.
Now don't get me wrong, I don't regret asking them, it just surprised me as it came, literally, out of no where.
Not soon after this, I decided that it might be a good idea to actually start thinking about my next move, since I can't expect everything I suddenly blurt out of my mouth to be as good as that. (At least not after the pearl diver incident of '98, which, by the way, I can apply for a pardon for.)
So I though, and thought. I bought notebooks and started filling them within idea's. I began to research the type of tricks I want to do (more on that later) and I gave a great deal of thought as to what type of help I need to pull this off.
This brought me to my second big decision that also involves Todd & Tracy.
At a party at Dave "enema Bag" Jones new home about two weeks later, I asked Todd if he would co-write the show with me. I also asked Tracy if she would direct. They both have a great deal of experience in these area's and couldn't think of any better due to fill those positions.
They said yes, by the way.
So here I am. I've got producers, a co-writer and a director. What I don't have is a place or a date in which to perform. I am assuming that part will come along before too long. In the mean time, I am researching and reheasing new and wonderful tricks that are guaranteed to knock your socks off (or at least kill some time I couldn't fill with anything better.)

Next post: Why do you think you have a problem?

Here begins the lesson.

2005-09-04T20:33:00.000-04:00

I suppose this is the place where I say why I have created a blog. I also suppose that every blogger on the internet begins his/her/it first blog saying why he/her/it have created a blog.
I have created a blog. Is there really more you need to know? I have placed my ego online in a form of communication that is so over crowded that most blogs are lucky to get ten hits a month. Obviously I didn't do this for fame, obviously I know that no one other than a few friends are going to read this thing.
And yet the question remains. Why?
Ok, so I'll humor the two of you who are reading this. I am doing this for three reasons.
1: Peer pressure.
2: A chronicle of the creative process.
3: To show the world that you too can overcome the handicap of bad spelling and still make it in this crazy world. (This is where I chuck you under the chin)

Let's take these one at a time.

1: Peer pressure. This is easy. I have friends who have blogs, they pressured me to start one as well. Since I cave easily to pressure I have thus started a blog. (You will soon find out that I am a weenie.)

2: A chronicle of the creative process. Obviously I can't write post after post about how people are pressuring me to start a blog. It would get old very quickly. (Sample post: "Well, it's been almost two years since I was pressured into starting a blog and dammit if I don't still have one.")
Since I started on a razor thin premise I decided to throw something more onto the pile so that I actually have SOMETHING to talk about, so I thought I'd talk about my show.
My show is a magic show. I am currently researching it and writing it and bugging my friends by making them watching stupid card tricks while their McDonalds burgers get cold. I thought I would use this forum to chronicle the process of creating the show. It's a lot more interesting than peer pressure which, after 36 years of age, I shouldn't be bothered by anyway. (Again, I'm a weenie.)

3: To show the world that you can overcome the handicap of bad spelling and still make it in this crazy world. Self explanatory really. My spelling sucks, now the whole world knows. My mother would be embarrassed, which is also a good reason to start a blog.

Oh yes, it is also my hope to make this blog a lot funnier than this posting has been up to now. Example: Man dem blondes are sure dumb. How about that David Hasselhoff, he sure had a funky car. Whoa, Richard Prior is still alive? What's up with that?
hilarity ensues.

Nest Post: Why I'm glad, why I'm glad, I'm glad, I'm glad, I'm glad.